FtFV - I Squash You.

Due to conferences, sickness, and twelve hour work days, I did not share from the vault last Friday.

My deepest and most insincere apologies for that.

How's this:

It's one of my favorite collages. It actually originated as some shots that I did not like, but when I put them together I loved it.

Then Jeremiah said it was just like Monty Python and I told him that A: He was a nerd, and 2: No it was NOT like Monty Python.

Then he found a Monty Python clip (oh, some cartoon nudity, so watch at your own risk):


And it turns out the nerd was right.

I HATE that.

Happy Friday, Friends!

FtVF - I will follow him.

Follow him wherever he may go.


Remember how I said that sometimes we are the winners in our relationship and sometimes we are the losers?

Poor Jeremiah. This is not really his day to shine. Or maybe it is not my day to shine. Something to ponder, I guess.

When people ask about when or whether we are going to have children (which, honestly is a whole other post and also? Unless you and I have braided each others' hair and had sleepovers, I'm thinking Dear Abby and Emily Post would not approve of you asking such a question. But I would probably answer you anyway because I am working on being nice.) I like to point out that we have FOUR pets. Three of which are extremely needy. As in, I don't remember the last time I've peed alone. Without a cat sitting in the sink watching or a dog begging to be pet. The other day Jeremiah had the day off and the dogs stayed downstairs with him while I showered and it was glorious. They are A LOT of work.

And you can tell me that I do not truly know what it is like to have a young child and all that work and you might be right.

But on the other hand, you probably do not know what pigeon looks like after a dog has barfed it up, and as of a few weeks ago, Jeremiah and I do.

So I guess at the same time we should both yell "You don't know me!". Then we are equal again.

Long story just to say that Jeremiah tolerates a lot.

One evening I caught Spike sitting behind Jeremiah while he was in the shower shaving.

My favorite part of this picture are twofold, actually. One, look how Spike adoringly stares at Jeremiah. Two, Jeremiah has underwear with dogs all over them and now tens of tens of people have seen them. Oh, p.s. That is not my shower. That is the shower that gives me claustrophobia.

This second picture is where we can all yell "Gnorm!". Or you can feel sorry for Jeremiah because I made him strap a gnome to his chest so I could take some pictures. It's like he is carrying around a tiny old baby. With facial hair. 

 

It says a lot about a man who is willing to wear a gnome for you.

That is really all I have today, friends. Here's to hoping Jeremiah isn't pissed that I showed you his panties.

FTVF - You Spin Me Right Round

Like a record, baby.

I come offering you a special gift. Not only is it From the Vault Friday, but it's going to be a two-fer. Because two is better than one sometimes. And also because I have two spin-y pictures.

First, I bring you the joys of hitting my head against the wall super hard - thank god I had on a helmet because otherwise I would have died. For sure. indoor skydiving.  I went with a group of friends several years ago. There is a place right outside of Phoenix where you can go do this. Or you can like, do the real thing. Except I can't. Because I would pee on everyone that was below me. And probably I'd poop myself, too. So indoors it was.

Oh, this is probably either right before/after I flew into the wall. The guy asked if I wanted to get out and I was like "Hells no! Nobody puts Baby in the corner!".

 I had so much fun but I sucked at it. Proof that I don't always have to win everything. Do you hear that Jeremiah? I don't ALWAYS have to win.

And then...

Are you ready?

Say it with me...

GNORM!!

I did not actually wash Gnorm. But he loved the space age look of this picture. 

So there you have it - TWo eighties references, a road trip, and a cheeky little gnome. Happy Friday everyone!

Any fun plans? Can anyone think of something that is better solo instead of two-fer-ed? Ooh, like OVEN FIRES, Jeremiah. No one wants two oven fires. Actually, I'm guessing most people would prefer zero oven fires...

I am going to finish painting my room this weekend. I almost ran out of paint so I hinted to Jeremiah that I was out of paint and I thought that meant he would drive to Lowe's and get me more but guess what? No. It does not mean that (as a friend of mine says, "You really do live in your own special world, don't you Emily?" I sure as hell do, people.). So I will be getting the paint this weekend.

From the Vault Fridays - GNORM!

I know that there are some blogs that do "Wordless Wednesday" and post a picture. I get that. I dig the idea. But I realize that there are a lot of pictures pre-blog that you might have missed. Or outtakes that you missed. I know you are sad about that. So I'm starting "From the Vault Fridays", where I will post a variety of pictures that are ALL GNEW TO YOU.

Starting with Gnorm.

(Obviously these posts aren't going to be wordless.)

While visiting my parents a year and a half ago, I noticed my mom had a cute little gnome. The Travelocity gnome. She got him at Meijer's. (If you don't have Meijer's in your hood I am sorry. I don't have one here in AZ and it makes me said on a bi-weekly basis. Basically every time we go to the grocery store.) So we went to Meijer's and I found the gnome. Brought him to AZ. I then challenged myself to taking a daily picture for an entire month using the gnome. I was successful. I thought I'd share some of them on here. Because who doesn't feel cheery when they see a happy gnome?

I just decided to name him Gnorm because we are working our way through Cheers on Netflix. I didn't watch it much because I was just a kid (a small child, not a goat-baby) when it was on tv. Plus, what kid (again, small child) likes bars and beers? Anyway, I'm finding it humorous now and loving Coach. But I thought if I name the gnome Gnorm that you could yell "GNORM!" every time you see him on the computer screen. That might start conversations if other people are around you. Or they might just think you are crazy. Either way, good times.

This was after Zumba. Yes, I wore those socks. If you can't make exercising fun, why do it? Plus, let's be honest. I like the attention. I don't mind being weird. p.s. After I took this picture of myself & Gnorm I stepped on dog poop and then I went inside and told Jeremiah it was time for him to go rake the yard.