Happy Anniversary!

Jeremiah and I have officially been together for six years.

Holy crap, that's a long time.

We had an anniversary weekend, which is fun. Always extend holidays and celebrations to allow for maximum good times and good eats.

On Saturday, we started up the fun by walking to the neighbor's house down the road and begging for permission to take pictures of his cactus. It only flowers once a year and the blooms last only for a day or so. I had a lot of fun taking pictures, but there were a ton of bees.

Like, a whole bee colony.

I had to go to a happy place while I took the pictures. I tried to not think about what might have happened if I got stung. I'm sure that there would be an allergic reaction.

 So I just took a deep breath and then I did not take any more breaths after that. Okay, so maybe I did breathe after that, but I tried my best to remember everything I read in The Secret Life of Bees. So I respected the bees. I wasn't making any sudden movements.

 I think the bees had their own things going on, anyway.

After the near-death experience, we drove to Goodwill to return a shirt and Salvation Army to buy books for ONE QUARTER EACH. Seriously. I got five books.

At this point, I mentioned to Jeremiah that a friend had suggested we go to this park and he agreed that it sounded worth checking out. In all honesty, it did not matter what he thought, but it always helps when one comes along willingly. It's like with my students. You need to make them think they have a choice.

Kidding, Jeremiah.

All of the roses at the park were in bloom - it was gorgeous. The second that we got out of the car, the smell of roses and orange blossoms hit us. Very fragrant.

The historic part of the park focuses on these old buildings at the ranch. Something like 13 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms. 

 Mostly I just took pictures. I did not really look around the buildings much. Most of the people were focusing their attentions on the buildings and plus there were a lot of kids running around. The human kind, not the goat kind. So I stayed near the roses.

 They smelled fabulous.

 At one point I heard "Cocka-doodle-doo" or whatever it is that chickens make and I got cold & sweaty. Freaking HATE chickens. They are the scariest bird, am I right?

 The peacock was a bit full of himself, sitting on the picnic table and making the weird peacock noises. Since I am incapable of making or typing chicken noises for you, I won't even attempt the peacock noise.

On our way out, I snagged a picture of the cool arch over the road entering the park.

We then went to Smashburger, where we treated ourselves to sandwiches, milkshakes, rosemary & garlic seasoned fries, and a split order of fried pickles. We aren't really fried food type people, so this was a bit of a test on our digestive systems. One of our systems held up, the other one failed later in the evening. Too much information. I know.

Ooh, we also hung a chandy in my studio! I picked it out a few weeks ago and yesterday it went up. It looks fantastic and the second I take my camera upstairs I'll get some pictures posted.

What did everyone else do this weekend?

P.S. I am starting to watermark some of my pictures. Lately I have had people image searching certain pictures on the blog. I'm cool with the looking, but not the taking. I'm possessive. I don't share with others very well.

p.p.s. I just found my old pictures of us throughout our couple-dom. Not you and I. Jeremiah and I.

Here goes:

Once we had been dating long enough, I made Jeremiah get rid of these jeans. Not all jeans are created equal, and these poor jeans were...no words. I have no words.

Kayaking.

We ate here. One year later, we ate at the same place and I was sick for two days. It's like this picture was a premonition of what was to come.  I am not sure if it was related to the food or not, but I will never go back.

First of all, I might be bossy about my camera. Secondly, this guy won't win any photography awards. That's one of my favorite coats, just fyi.

Tahoe.

This was the next year, after I had eaten pizza of death. I had spent two days in the bathroom. The frown might be because I am facing the sun, or it might be because I am wondering where the nearest bathroom is. Jeremiah looks good, though. This is after I started dressing him.

Jeremiah took me up north in CA so I would not miss Michigan's fall season. We picked pumpkins.

Jeremiah looks like a naughty little boy. I can't believe he made me put that damn hat on.

I'm posting this one because I think Jeremiah looks GOOD. My ensemble was a last minute scramble after he announced a surprise trip to Tahoe. Leaving Phoenix I had not packed for the snow, JEREMIAH. That's not even my coat. That is my hat, though. Ear infections, remember?

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Every year an organization in Arizona gives the teachers here the opportunity to see the Diamondbacks for free. F.R.E.E.E.

And not being the type of people to give up free stuff, I reserved my two tickets for Friday night. They were playing the Cubbies, which made it even more special. One year they played the Tigers, and I'm sure you can imagine where I placed my loyalties.

First of all, we drove around a bit. We won't go in to details, but here is US Airways Center, where the Suns play and where I saw the Rockettes at Christmas.

I think my favorite moment is when I first see the field. The teachers are allowed on the field pre-game, but I've done it twice and it isn't worth the swamp ass anymore, even if one ends up on the Jumbotron.

So, in addition to Jumbotroning it as a teacher and when I worked in radio, THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME... a co-worker once gave us prime seats and while I was eating nachos and looking a mess Boyfriend and I were put on the Ol' Big Screen to kiss. I was mortified. Having over 20,000 people seeing me eat and kiss with food in my mouth? No. I didn't do it.

Hold on while I hang my head ashamedly. 

Okay. The moment has passed. Look:

So incredible. All the people. There were 23,400 in attendance on Friday. That's like, an entire city in Michigan. 

I get a bit overwhelmed when we get up to the cheap seats. I have a fear of tripping and falling all the way down. To the field. Irrational, but still. So we didn't sit in our seats. We just found some open that required minimal climbing.

Even this makes me nervous:

And then we thought we'd be mean and text/photo message Jer's friend who is a Cubbies fan. So I took this picture of Jeremiah. I should mention that I had my real camera out because I wanted some quality pictures, but I forgot it. Sigh.

And then after the game...Fireworks. Love. Love. Love.

Everyone else have a good weekend? We've also been pool side now for about two weeks. That makes the unseasonably hot temps much more manageable.

Roam If You Want To. Roam If You Will.

There are few things that can get me heading east (read: to Scottsdale). One of those things is Lush and the other is Harry & David. I love these stores with all my heart and so we make the trek a couple of times a year. You might remember last time we went I shared some pictures of the city. So it was time. To brave the east side AND holiday traffic AND holiday shoppers. I thought you might like to see some more pictures. If not, stop reading. That's okay. I won't be upset.

The first shot is of Ghetto 1. Ghetto 1 protects this fine city from hoodlums and their shananigans. Not so intimidating during daylight, but much more frightening at night when they have the wrong apartment window and instead of shining it in the meth lab upstairs from you they shine it in your window. I mean, not that I experienced that for real. Just guessing.

Ghetto 1 was a familiar sight my first few weeks in the city when I lived with a friend. Bless her heart for taking me in. Bless us both for surviving.

Below are some neat buildings. I just liked them. And the blue sky, that's pretty nice, too.

This is one of my favorite buildings. I decided I'm going to live there. I dig all the glass.

Just looked ritzy and perfect with the palms lining the street and the mountain centered.

Jeremiah's dirty window.

That's about it, peeps. Just a more downtown-ish view of PHX.

Anyone else have a Ghetto 1 that keeps an eye on the ground below?

p.s. I am not sure why two of the pictures are HUGE. I don't really care. They're two of my favorites, so maybe I'm unintentionally highlighting them.

Highway to Hell, or, Why I'm Not Allowed to Grocery Shop Alone

If you haven't heard yet, many of the drivers in Arizona can't drive well. It's a fact. I had to take a wonderful class on the history & culture & government in AZ. Had to. In order to be highly qualified. Whatever. The only thing I remember from my class is that AZ has one of the highest (if not the highest) rates with regards to car accidents. Cheery, right?

I don't know. I might still be bitter about the accident last year when I was on my way home from work, sitting at a red light when two cars in cross-traffic ran their red light, came out of the intersection, and HIT MY CAR. Zero miles per hour. Stopped. Still I get hit. They came at me from the front and hit the passenger side and my hatch. Subaru intervention, I was fine.

And I might be remembering the time I came home from work only to find boyfriend hopping around with a naughty grin on his face. "Guess what happened?" he says impishly. Apparently, he was driving home and being tailed when someone cut him off. He had to slow down, the car tailing him wasn't paying attention, and in an effort to not ram into boyfriend, he did a swerve, overcompensating and running into the median. I'm picturing a blockbuster movie car crash, are you? Boyfriend looks in his rear view mirror and sees flames and wreckage...Just kidding, but the drivers here are bad. To the point where you can take a bit of joy in seeing a tailgating idiot ruin their car (while not hurting anyone else).

Flash forward to yesterday at the grocery store. I met boyfriend there because I had a previous engagement. I am behind a soccer mom in her shiny new SUV. Looking all soccer mom-y. She passes a spot. As she passes it, I see the spot. Turn on my turn signal. Wait for her to creep forward so I can have it. Then she sees it. Slams on the breaks, starts backing up. Oh hell no. One thing you must know about me is I am one stubborn chickie. I sat in my car, turn signal on. Still no signal from Soccer Mom. I wait. She waits. I win, because she tries to swing forward and back in to the spot and that is when I take it! Three cheers for Emily. No? Am I the only one cheering? So sad.

I get out of my car and start walking, wishing Jeremiah was there because he (or his tattoos, whatever) help(s) dissolve a lot of conflict. I don't know why (funny side dish: unloading the trunk with the garage door open awhile ago, we watched as the Jesus people pimped Jesus door to door (which, by the way, I don't think Jesus would have appreciated, honestly) I'm getting feisty because I know our house is next. Jeremiah picks up the tire iron, turns around, and they walk right on past. It might have had something to do with the flames etched into his leg. Maybe the tire iron? Maybe both.) So anyway, no boyfriend to help me. This lady comes flying after me, like that scene from Terminator when they are in the car and look out the back window and bad terminator is catching up with them. You know the scene? It was like that.

She catches up and says "YOU are the reason for all the bad drivers and YOU, honey, are the reason people get so angry. I had that spot picked out before you even turned down the aisle!" It is at this point that I know she doesn't know my mom, because mom always says you lose your point when you exaggerate and this lady was clearly exaggerating because I was behind her the whole time. Secondly, well, she was starting to piss me off. I was all, "Oh no you didn't." I whipped around. "You did NOT have that spot picked out! You saw that spot after you passed it and then decided you should be able to back up to get it. Not ONCE did you turn on a turn signal! You passed it, too bad. My spot." (And you know what? Where I'm from, people signal their driving intentions. She didn't. Who's the bad driver now, right? Plus, did she back into her new spot? Take a guess.) And then she said "blah blah blabbity blah." And she might have called me honey again. To which I responded, "You? Are full of it!" and walked away. I did some hand waving, too.

This is why we usually strictly follow the rule: Emily shalt not shop alone.


p.s. I did not use any naughty words because she was towing a very embarrassed teen daughter and I am NOT that kind of person. But I will wave my arms around, because I am still that kind of person.

p.p.s. 5/13/10 - I was just riding with a co-worker who was talking about the process of getting her son a license. Apparently, here in AZ, you do NOT have to take any classes. You do NOT have to drive with an instructor. You do NOT have to document road time. You just get a permit, take a test. Then you get your license. You scare me, AZ. You scare me. No wonder there are such horrible drivers here.

Food Baby

We didn't have students today, we had morning meetings at another school instead. On the way back to our school, a co-worker suggested a Chinese food place called Happy Food. Well, holy crap. How can you not give it a try? Look at the name. Happy. Food. I figure it can't be any worse than the crap (being pawned off as Chinese food) that I've tried at other restaurants here in Phoenix, so we give it a go. "Just a warning, they're really rude," my friend warns.

Oh, people.

You have no idea.

When it was my turn to order, I got my beef and broccoli, but hemmed and hawed over my two other choices. The Chinese food nazi was not okay with my indecision. So I shouted out "Wontons! Give me wontons, please!" Her response? "NO! You must order two things!" Excuse Me? When have you ever been denied your food choice? My response to her response? "TWO orders of wontons, please!" Chinese lady says, "Who would do that? (me, the idiot) Must order two DIFFERENT things! Why you order two things same?" (I need to stop and interject. My friends at this point are sitting in the waiting area, laughing their butts off. And by the way, wontons? Not what I thought they were.)

So she MADE me choose two different things because I insulted her by choosing the same things. I got an egg roll - I knew precisely what it was and how much I disliked it. I decided to give it to boyfriend.

We get the food back to school and oh, my lord. Say hello to heaven, people. Say hello to heaven*. It doesn't beat the Botulism Pagoda in Michigan, but I ate everything (hence the food baby). Except the egg roll. And the goopy thing in the wontons. I'm sure, based on where Happy Food is located, that my beef wasn't beef. It was probably feral chihuahua.

Who knew that they could be so delicious?


*Can you name the group?

Editor's Note: This is Boyfriend's response to my excited, very foul-mouthed email proclaiming that I've found a good Chinese food place in the desert and I have some small concerns that I might have eaten Atticus's brother: Wow….I guess I’m not surprised that it’s near your work. That’s where the best places are. Although, if it’s Chinese food, I would think it would be Pugs, not Chihuahuas. I hope you’ll have room for food baby twins because it’s Pizza Friday!
I love that one, boyfriend isn't offended when I call him names when I'm in a state of food babiness and two, his response proves that he doesn't find it out of the ordinary to get an email laced with obscenities and excitedness over ghetto-y Chinese food. It is, after all, an email from me. He just goes with it. Plus, do you see the capitals on Pizza Friday? We take our food very seriously at our house. No matter I'm so full I can feel a pug/chihuahua kicking in my stomach. It's Pizza Friday, damn it.

Swamp Butt

Have you checked the weather lately for Phoenix? High today of ninety-four. Tomorrow? Ninety-seven. It is that time of year when boys and girls city wide prepare for what my friends here affectionately call swamp ass. It is when your butt never dries out. Like a swamp. It is very uncomfortable. Even moisture wicking undies can't keep up with the sweat. So wherever you are in the world, be happy. Because you could be swamp assin' it for SIX MONTHS like those of us in the Valley of the Sun.


Side Dish II: I am going to Vegas in June. That's right, Vegas, Baby! This blog is going on the road, via the unfriendly skies. Be prepared. Be very prepared.

A Day in the Life, or, Day Tripper

I'm sure that some of you are thinking, "I've seen the inside of her house. I've seen the outside of the house, but I've yet to see AZ." Well, buckle up, people, because we are taking a road trip! Are you excited? We were. What could get two people that dislike Phoenix out into Phoenix? Record Store Day. Yep. This is our second-annual trip to Record Store Day. Held on the exact same day as Gay Pride Day in Phoenix. That's not a problem because I really like the flags. I mapped out the whole day on my GPS, Gus. Here's the day: Ikea (I needed picture frames), Lush (I always go when we hit Scottsdale), Harry & David (butt munches were out of their Easter candy), Revolver records, and Zia Records.
I didn't drive. Jeremiah doesn't like to drive my car (I think it's a jealousy/comfort thing. He isn't used to a comfortable car), so we took the Ford. Now, the above picture shows what happens when you don't listen to Gus. Gus told us to stay to the left, stay to the left, exit left, exit left, damn it. But we didn't, because really? What idiots put exits on the left side of the highway? The idiots in the great state of AZ, apparently. So the picture is what happens when you get off the highway in the wrong part of town. I was going to take a picture of a man with his shopping cart full of treasures, but he was changing out of his morning wear (just shucking some layers) into his day wear and don't we all deserve a bit of privacy for that?
'Kay. Back on track. City view on the way from Lush in Scottsdale to Revolver. Can I just say? I was on a roll in the coffee shop in Scottsdale. J. even told me to knock it off. I mean, really though. Do you need to wear your sunglasses in a dimly lit cafe? Do you need to wear platform wedges when you are eighty? One false move and that old chickie would be bed ridden with a broken hip. Relax, people.
Jeremiah was so sweet when we left the mall, though. As we approached his car in the parking garage (filled with foreign cars...totally should have taken my car!) he made a "bleep bleep" noise to mimic automatic car locks. He didn't want me to feel left out.
Here we are going through some mountains. If you feel so inclined, there are bike paths (I tried mountain biking once. I went over the handlebars. I cried. I was bruised and bloody. There was a great deal of pouting and swearing. I figure I don't need to go again.) as well as hiking paths.
There's also the Desert Botanical Gardens in case you wonder what the desert might look like. You can pay $20 and see the desert. We've actually done this, not out of curiosity to see the desert (because, duh) but because we were feeling all culture-y and wanted to see the Chihuly exhibit (which, by the way, reminds me - I am totally going to have Jeremiah start wearing an eye patch over his blind eye. Maybe then the girl at the deli won't have to worry about me jumping over the counter and attacking her as she gushes about how much MY boyfriend looks like David Bowie. Shut up, meat girl. If you keep saying nice things like that then I'm going to have to say nice things to him. He'll start to expect it. That might have been the last time we went to that grocery store. Or it might have been the time when I saw a guy with a gun in the meat department. Or the time when we shopped with someone else's grocery cart. We'll have to discuss this another time).
Here's a nice city scape. It looks nice from a distance, no?