Showing posts with label students. Show all posts
Showing posts with label students. Show all posts

10.04.2012

I Know Why the Chicken Crossed the Road.

I spent last week at Grammar Camp.

Stop laughing. I really did.

If you are imagining a camp that focuses solely on grammar - you would be imagining correctly.

If you are imagining me so absolutely in my element that I was sad to leave at the end - you would be imagining correctly.

This is the second time I have been sent to Camp. I am not sure if it is compliment that I am being sent. They might just be trying to get rid of me. They know that I won't turn down the opportunity to increase my nerdiness.

Camp was held on the third floor of a building across town. While waiting for a session to start, I looked out a window on to a neighborhood across the parking lot. There were beautiful mature trees and lush landscaping. I was jealous. As I watched this neighborhood from my window, I SAW A CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD. I thought, "What the eff. Is this a joke?" No. Seriously. One single chicken. Crossing the road.

I just feel as though my life is complete. I have seen it all.

Also, any time someone starts the joke "Why did the chicken cross the road?", which is a joke that you hear a lot when you teach in an elementary school,  I can tell them that I have seen the chicken cross the road and I know what her goal was. I know her motivation.

The damn thing just wanted to get to the other side.


Anyone else feel that their life is complete? Seen something unbelievable?

p.s. One of my students gave me a picture upon my return. It is a picture of me looking a bit bottom-heavy but well-dressed (tell it like it is, sister) and I am yelling in all caps "I LOVE MY CLASS!" and I am smiling and I am CRYING. I did not notice the tears until after the girl left but now I am curious why I am so happy that blue tears fall freely down my face.

p.p.s. There is a noise that has been coming from my ceiling since I moved into this new room. It happens every few minutes. It sounds like a giant guillotine chopping off someone's head. It is honestly the most gruesome noise you can imagine. So I sent a note to the principal letting her know that they might have accidentally installed a guillotine on the roof above my room and that it was loud and distracting and perhaps it was not in the students' best interest to have an instrument of torture at an elementary school. Please would they look into moving it or silencing it?

I will let you know what she says. I bet she sends me away to camp again.


8.16.2012

Jesus. The Dog, Not the Carpenter.

I should preface this by saying that here in Arizona, the name Jesus is quite common (pronounced "Hay/Suess" for those that sat next to me in French class. In Michigan.). Everyone and/or their brother is named Jesus here in Arizona.

One time I went out to eat and we spilled our waters and we could not find our waiter, but Jesus was there with a hand towel to help wipe things up. It's a very Jesus-y thing to do. Help those in need. Of a hand towel.

So imagine my surprise when on the first day of school, one of my students was telling me about her dog, Jesus, and she actually pronounced like a girl from MI would pronounce it - "Gee/Zuss".

"Jesus is so mean. He will bite you. He will bite your fingers like this." Demonstrates. "He will make you think that he is going to be nice but then NO. He is not nice."

And all I could think was, Wow. Totally not the behavior you would expect from the Son of God.

5.15.2012

Boys and Girls, I am Sorry.

Today I wore my Cynthia Rowley black dress. It is so fun. Strategically placed pleats. Grey trim around the neck and arms holes with a large grey stripe across the bottom. The dress is fun to wear because it is flippy. I walk and it goes flip swish sway. In that order. It flips, it swishes, and then there's the sway.

It looks similar to this:
Dress that is almost the same but NOT really at all the same except for the length.

Anyways.

 At my house, there was no wind.

None.

But then, when my hands were full and I was walking my students across campus, a strong wind blew up. And my dress went up. Like, full-blown, Marilyn Monroe, hands covering the lady parts (and my ass) dress went up. I blame the pleats, really. The dress is designed to be swishy. And swish up it did.

I am trying to think of a time in recent history when I have been more embarrassed. I can't. The kids thought it was hilarious. I tried to stand against the wall and yelled for them to "keep walking, keep walking!"

They will not refer to me as hero anymore but that weird teacher that flashed them on the way to computers.

I can see it now.

Parent: What did you learn today?
Child: What my teacher has on under her dress.

Thankfully, the horribleness that is Spanx covered my ass. Literally. So there wasn't much to see.

And then? Because the day couldn't get any worse, I slid in the cafeteria. I caught myself, but not before my left leg slid backwards about ten miles and I looked like Elf trying to ride the escalator (or escalavator, if you are me and you are drunk in Vegas).

So...

Eight more days of school!

5.03.2012

The Cardinal

Every day I have a student whose hair sticks straight out in the back. Like a spoiler on all those ghetto-y road racing cars.

Straight out, like it's pointing at someone. What way to the bathroom? That way! What direction to the buses? That way! Follow his hair!

I think it's adorable, but he gets so upset. Maybe because it's so much hair. It's not some wisps, it's a significant chunk.

Sometimes I try to comb/pat it down for him. I even use water, but it doesn't work.

The other day he comes up to me:

Student: Miss?
Me: Yes?
Student: I tried today to comb it down, but it just didn't work. Pats his head furiously. This is the end of the day, by the way, so it escapes him that his hair has been this way all day. 
Me: Oh, I like it. I think it adds character. It makes you special. We can all recognize you from the back, and that's important.
Student: Do you know what my brother calls me? I should mention that I had his brother several years ago, so I can picture this clearly in my head.
Me: What?
Student: Cardinal.
Me: Snorted. I totally could not even control it. And the smile/smirk wouldn't leave, either. Awe, man. Sometimes big brothers aren't very nice. But you know, cardinals are really cool birds. And you kind of have the signature feather tuft going on back there...
Student: Sighs. Yeah, I know...He walks away absentmindedly, patting his head as he walks. His hair bobbing along behind him.

I am honestly going to miss this group of students. Not all of them, but most of them. The Cardinal yesterday wrote on his "star of the week" paper (that is not for a grade, so he wasn't sucking up) that I was his hero. Most kids pick their parents. A couple of them pick Jesus. I was so flattered to be up there with such good company. I got a bit misty-eyed, but managed to make it through.

Last night however, I had a dramatic episode (that's the nice way of saying that I had a small breakdown) and was wailing so loudly and so high-pitched that the neighbor's hound dog started baying with me. And the the other neighborhood dogs heard him and they joined in, too.

Just me and the dogs, yo.

2.08.2012

It's a Beast!

 The other day I was modeling ways to create fractions.

When I was in school, I HATED fractions. But teaching them? Love. So different from when I was in school. This is much more hands-on, which I think is important. Also? Much more fun than worksheets.

Anyway, after doing 1/2, 1/4, and 1/8, it was time to cut out thirds. "I want to warn you," I told the students "thirds are beastly. They are much more difficult than halves, fourths, and eighths."

Student hand goes up.

"Yes?"

"Teacher? That is your opinion!" a student triumphantly points out (We were also working on facts and opinions).

I acknowledged that yes, that was my opinion, and we delved into thirds.

After a few seconds of folding and cutting, it was agreed by all.

Thirds were beastly.

Most of them got it eventually, so we moved on to the sixths. "If you think that thirds were beastly" I warned, "wait until you see the sixths!"

A student from the back stands up, stretches and shakes his arms skyward, and bellows (with his thick Hispanic accent) "Teacher? SHOW US THE BEAST!"

It's why I teach, friends.



P.S.
Just out of curiosity -  What was your worst subject/topic/thing to learn in school? Mine was that I could NOT tell time. Stupid clocks.

1.19.2012

Um, You Want Me to Poop Where?

From Last Week:

A few of my students were talking about how cool it would be to go back in time. The following conversation is real. Because really? Who could make this stuff up?

Me: When?

Student 1: The Wild West.

Student 2: YEAH!

Me: pause You know, they didn't have toilets back then inside the houses.

Student 1 & Student 2 exchange awkward glances.


Student 1: In a hushed, horrified tone So if I had to poop?


Me: You'd go outside. Or in a bucket, maybe.


Student 2 wrinkles her nose. Student 1 looks more horrified, if it all possible. His eyes are now HUGE.

Student 2: Like, on the ground?


Me: Maybe the ground. Or in an outdoor toilet called an outhouse.

Student 1: I can't do that. I can't. I can pee outside, sure. But pooping OUTSIDE? No. Forget that.


And that, my friends, is the type of conversation that happens two minutes before the bell rings on a Friday.

Jealous?

1.04.2012

Dear Student

Dear Student,
I will never forget that on the first day back from break, you brought me lots of chocolates. It might have been just the thing to keep that nervous breakdown at bay.
Sincerely,
Your Teacher

p.s. I am working on painting MY room (studio? craft room? office?) right now and it is looking delicious. I'm in love. Jeremiah is resigned to the fact that I might never go downstairs, what with my jacuzzi tub and my special room (that sounds sort of like it has padded walls and has a lock on the outside but it doesn't, I promise). I've also been painting the halls upstairs, which has made a huge difference. Notice that I used "I". Jeremiah is a painting grinch. Plus he's horrible at it. I don't know if I'm peeved that he doesn't help or happy that he isn't getting in the way. A girl just has so many emotions at once, you know?

Anyway, more details and pictures later. I hope everyone else transitioned back to work a bit more smoothly than I did. Rough. Seriously. There *might* have been tears (even though I have seriously awesome students).

6.03.2011

Sad Teacher


 Seeing my room like this? Sadsies. But doesn't everything look nice all organized? Books grouped together? Tubs all neat? Pretty. Have I mentioned my OCD tendencies? No? Not necessary?

My tears have dried up. Yesterday was the last day of school and I was crying before I even reached my students. This has been such a great group of kids. Even Jeremiah commented that he doesn't remember me complaining about the kids once. Because I didn't. They were perfection in uniforms. They were put-them-in-your-pocket perfect.
Here's where I keep the desks.  So that they can "clean" the floor. Whatever. If the floor was truly cleaned, I wouldn't be able to look at it and say, "This is where J. barfed three years ago, this is where F. barfed earlier this year, this is where B. peed all over the floor." I fought for non-carpeted floors at a recent meeting about our upcoming remodel and they all looked at me like I was farting while picking my nose.

But back to the students. Every year we make necklaces out of yarn and paper plates. We wear them backwards and then students write compliments to each other. We then have our last class meeting and we read our favorite compliment and share one thing we've learned this year. And then I cry a little (again). Here's my plate. While I'm super flattered that someone likes my "blod" hair and I like the prediction of a good tan this summer, I welled up (surprise, surprise) at the "You're the best teacher I ever had." which came from a very reserved little guy and the "You are nice you use the microphone" from my deaf student.
It was a nice ending to a wonderful year.

On a happier note, today is the first day of summer vacation. I don't get three months like everyone thinks. I get about a month and a half (which is about seven weeks). Two of those weeks will be at conferences and much of the time will be spent on these classes I'm taking. Have I mentioned them before? Yeah...

As I was saying, first day of vacation. I got up when Jeremiah left (around six-ish?) and worked out for about an hour. People? It felt good. It was slow going for awhile due to a swollen ankle, foot, and leg, and I had to ice and elevate immediately after, but it felt GOOD. I haven't been able to exercise due to sickies and other issues for awhile so I enjoyed my time. And then I did about three hours of classwork. Jealous?

p to the s: I have a class of 28 students coming in next year. Twenty-eight.
p to the p to the s: Do you see my computers? Yeah. And then Jeremiah comes home talking about how they upgrade every other year or so and that they have ROOMS full of computers that are only two years old. And I tell him to shut up and put myself in time out.

4.29.2011

Wow. That Was Fun! Wait. We Won?!

This year my group of students are something else. Truly a great group. Always try their best.

And today was field day. The first game? We lost. Like, last place. Here's a replay of the convo.

Student: Miss Z?
Me: Yeah?
Student: I think we lost. We came in last.
Me: Yeah?
Student:Yeah.
Me: Did you have fun?
All Students: YES!

Totally didn't care.

Next game we we came in second. We would have won but the group that was up was slightly uncoordinated and didn't know left from right. The rest of my kids?

Didn't care.

Water games - We won. Both games. And they didn't even know it. They were running around, giving everyone high-fives. And then they found out they won. So cute.

They were happy losing and they were happy winning. Totally great.

I took tons of great pictures of those little cuties. The best are the candid. Sheer joy.

Hope everyone is having a great Friday.  Now I am going to go rest for a few minutes.

p.s. If you are a long time reader you may remember that I fell last year during tug of war and my students rallied around me. Dusted me off. Cheered for me. I didn't fall this year. Good times.

4.15.2011

Warm Fuzzy Friday

Are you ready for some more warm fuzzies?



First Fuzzy: Without giving oodles of details, eight of my eighteen students tested OUT of my classroom. Possibly two more, results still pending. That is quite possibly the best (only?) validation I've had all year. I'm not saying this in a braggy way. I'm saying, I am so incredibly proud of my students. They are awesome and have worked hard.

Second Fuzzy: Tomorrow is Record Store Day. It will be our third year of celebrating it. Each year special limited releases are put out specifically on this day. It is one of Jeremiah's favorite days of the year. He has it all planned out, which stores we hit when. He has a list of everything he is looking to purchase. If you know of anyone who collects vinyl, tomorrow is a special day. It is a special day I will most likely enjoy in comfy clothes, especially if I have to get up early.


Well? Warm fuzzies? Do share.

12.03.2010

Bus Duty.

Hi.

I thought that I would give you a moment in my life type of experience. Because unless you teach at an elementary school, you don't know. Even high school teachers...no. "You don't know me!" (That is one of Jeremiah's favorite lines from his customers when he did the phones at work.) And I'm sure that you have exciting work stories to share, too. If you'd like to leave a comment and share, I'm all for it.

Seriously. You know I am all for sharing.

Yesterday I had bus duty after school. Picture two teachers trying to line up about two hundred kids and walk them to the buses.

Yeah. So. Much. Fun.

Except yesterday? No. Freakin'. Buses.

For HALF AN HOUR. Do I get paid overtime for this?

So while the other teacher has an impromptu parent teacher conference, I am dealing with the kids. Here are some of the going-ons that I experienced yesterday. These are one hundred percent REAL conversations. For realsies. They occurred between the dancing and singing. I find it important to keep things light-hearted.

Student - Camp was fun, but...
Emily- But what?
S- Then I threw up s'mores.
E- Yeah, not so fun, huh?
S- no...

S- Hey teacher!!
E- Hey student!!
S- Teacher, my name isn't student!
E- Well, student, my name isn't teacher.
S- My name is (says name)
E- What are you doing (says name)?
S- Nothing.
E- Yes you are. Can you please STOP unbuttoning my shirt?
S- Why?
E- Because I'd like to keep my shirt on today.
S- (pouts)
E- (buttons shirt back up)

S- Is he the new student?
E- Was he here yesterday?
S- No.
E - Then he's the new student.

S- If I have to walk ALL the way to that bus...
E- You're gonna what?
S- I'm going to be pissed off.
E- (rant. straight up rant. for several minutes. )

Happy Friday, everyone. Enjoy your weekend. If you have a funny work story, please share.

5.27.2010

Brought to you by the letter H: Humbled and Honored

If you don't like the mushy, gushy, inspiring, feel-good crap, stop reading...Now.

Today I got a call from a parent. She and I were discussing her son and his placement next year. Out of the blue, she asked if there was any way at all to get her younger child into my class for the upcoming year. She said she really wanted him to be in my class.

That she couldn't imagine anything better than having her two sons having me for a teacher.

Is that not the best thing ever? I've had a few requests before, but this is the first parent that actually called me to ask. Here is a woman trusting me with her most precious things ever.

We're always told that parents send their everything (hopes, expectations, etc.) with their kids to school. Those kids that we get are the best they have to offer. It's not like they keep the good ones at home or something. She is trusting ME to help her children learn, explore, teach others, and grow. She's trusting me with their future.

I feel so incredibly honored.

2.14.2010

Happy Valentine's Day!

I felt very special on Friday (after a long week of conferences) when my students brought me all sorts of stuff for Valentine's Day. It was as if Cupid came in and puked up on my desk. Four or five boxes of candies, stuffed animals, cards, flowers, etc. Here are my favorites.
Two students brought me balloons - which I love, and they had remembered.
Another student brought me roses. So pretty.
I don't get many perks with my job - there isn't any traveling, holiday parties, bonuses, etc. - so the occasional gifts mean the world to me. Especially seeing how excited the students get to give them to me.