5.15.2012

Boys and Girls, I am Sorry.

Today I wore my Cynthia Rowley black dress. It is so fun. Strategically placed pleats. Grey trim around the neck and arms holes with a large grey stripe across the bottom. The dress is fun to wear because it is flippy. I walk and it goes flip swish sway. In that order. It flips, it swishes, and then there's the sway.

It looks similar to this:
Dress that is almost the same but NOT really at all the same except for the length.

Anyways.

 At my house, there was no wind.

None.

But then, when my hands were full and I was walking my students across campus, a strong wind blew up. And my dress went up. Like, full-blown, Marilyn Monroe, hands covering the lady parts (and my ass) dress went up. I blame the pleats, really. The dress is designed to be swishy. And swish up it did.

I am trying to think of a time in recent history when I have been more embarrassed. I can't. The kids thought it was hilarious. I tried to stand against the wall and yelled for them to "keep walking, keep walking!"

They will not refer to me as hero anymore but that weird teacher that flashed them on the way to computers.

I can see it now.

Parent: What did you learn today?
Child: What my teacher has on under her dress.

Thankfully, the horribleness that is Spanx covered my ass. Literally. So there wasn't much to see.

And then? Because the day couldn't get any worse, I slid in the cafeteria. I caught myself, but not before my left leg slid backwards about ten miles and I looked like Elf trying to ride the escalator (or escalavator, if you are me and you are drunk in Vegas).

So...

Eight more days of school!

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