Jeremiah has a shirt. You know the shirt from Seinfeld, "Golden Boy"? Jeremiah has a golden boy. It's actually golden in color. He's had it for as long as I've known him.
It's the ugliest t-shirt I've seen. The color is all wrong for him (side note: boyfriend doesn't seem to care about this quite as much as I do). He should be wearing blues and blacks and greys, not a fleshy yellow color. Ick.
It's gotten to the point where he knows he can't wear it in public - it is strictly a lounging around type shirt (side note: there was a lot of wardrobe changes when I came into the picture). But my problem is, the flippin' shirt is still here. In my house. Hanging in the closet. I have to wash it and look at it. I hate that shirt.
Always the good girlfriend, I started by beating around the bush and hinting (that's the secret to all good relationships, right?). Then I told it to him straight. Still nothin'. And I don't have the heart to send it sleepin' with the fishes because I know that I have some ugly ass clothes that make me feel cozy (I used to wear a shirt that said "hugs, not drugs" and "just say no" with a bright yellow and red chicken on the front. I loved it so much that when it was time to say goodbye, I had to take a picture of it before I could let go. I rest my case.). So me sending it packing is not an option.
I've even plotted against it. Maybe it got lost in the move(s)? No such luck. Four moves, the shirt lives on.
I sent it with the dogs when we boarded them, hoping that they would shred it like they shred everything else. Rugs, blankets, whatever...nothing is safe. We got it back, folded neatly, in mint condish.
The darn shirt won't die.
But here is where my hope lies. The point of my whole story (took me long enough, right?). Jeremiah wore that shirt outside and took it off and set it on a chair in THE SUN! This was days ago and golden boy is still there. Fading. Weakening. Its essence being destroyed by the bright hot sun in Phoenix.
I'll keep you posted but I want you to know that things are looking up. Golden boy might have met his match.
By the way, we don't have random clothes strewn about the patio. Just the one shirt and some beach towels hanging neatly. We have class. Sometimes.
And again, by the way...about my chicken shirt? I never once claimed to be cool. And I NEVER wore drug-free chicken shirt out in public. And if I can find the picture I will totally post it because if you are still reading this, you deserve a treat.
Update: The sun wasn't the culprit, but the shirt has completely biffed it. Jeremiah needed a new car battery so we took the old one in Subaru to get it checked first. I made him put something under the battery and the only thing around? Golden boy. Goodbye, you ugly yellow bastard.
It doesn't have a lot of trees, animals, or any big lakes, but it does have its perks. Sunshine every day and a daily forecast of warm or hot. This has two benefits. One, getting dressed is a snap. Two, every day is sandal day! Arizona isn't perfect, but it is where we are currently calling home. We are just two youngsters from the Midwest, trying to survive in the desert. And this is our story.
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