Food Baby

We didn't have students today, we had morning meetings at another school instead. On the way back to our school, a co-worker suggested a Chinese food place called Happy Food. Well, holy crap. How can you not give it a try? Look at the name. Happy. Food. I figure it can't be any worse than the crap (being pawned off as Chinese food) that I've tried at other restaurants here in Phoenix, so we give it a go. "Just a warning, they're really rude," my friend warns.

Oh, people.

You have no idea.

When it was my turn to order, I got my beef and broccoli, but hemmed and hawed over my two other choices. The Chinese food nazi was not okay with my indecision. So I shouted out "Wontons! Give me wontons, please!" Her response? "NO! You must order two things!" Excuse Me? When have you ever been denied your food choice? My response to her response? "TWO orders of wontons, please!" Chinese lady says, "Who would do that? (me, the idiot) Must order two DIFFERENT things! Why you order two things same?" (I need to stop and interject. My friends at this point are sitting in the waiting area, laughing their butts off. And by the way, wontons? Not what I thought they were.)

So she MADE me choose two different things because I insulted her by choosing the same things. I got an egg roll - I knew precisely what it was and how much I disliked it. I decided to give it to boyfriend.

We get the food back to school and oh, my lord. Say hello to heaven, people. Say hello to heaven*. It doesn't beat the Botulism Pagoda in Michigan, but I ate everything (hence the food baby). Except the egg roll. And the goopy thing in the wontons. I'm sure, based on where Happy Food is located, that my beef wasn't beef. It was probably feral chihuahua.

Who knew that they could be so delicious?


*Can you name the group?

Editor's Note: This is Boyfriend's response to my excited, very foul-mouthed email proclaiming that I've found a good Chinese food place in the desert and I have some small concerns that I might have eaten Atticus's brother: Wow….I guess I’m not surprised that it’s near your work. That’s where the best places are. Although, if it’s Chinese food, I would think it would be Pugs, not Chihuahuas. I hope you’ll have room for food baby twins because it’s Pizza Friday!
I love that one, boyfriend isn't offended when I call him names when I'm in a state of food babiness and two, his response proves that he doesn't find it out of the ordinary to get an email laced with obscenities and excitedness over ghetto-y Chinese food. It is, after all, an email from me. He just goes with it. Plus, do you see the capitals on Pizza Friday? We take our food very seriously at our house. No matter I'm so full I can feel a pug/chihuahua kicking in my stomach. It's Pizza Friday, damn it.