A Cross Between Pinocchio & Dumbo.

The other night while watching tv, I pointed out to Jeremiah that the kid on the tv was odd-looking. And then there was this:

Me: What if we have kids and they are ugly?
J: Is this a serious concern of yours?
Me:Yes, among other things.
J: Do you think that there is a good chance of an ugly baby?
Me: Glance at him for a minute. Well, honestly, I would say odds for an ugly baby are pretty high.
J: No!
Me: Yes. Jeremiah? Are you kidding me? With your nose and my ears (Which are so big that sometimes I accidentally sleep on them folded like fleshy little crepes.) I'd say we are prime candidates for ugly kids.
J: Mulls this over. We'd have an elephant. A baby elephant.
Me: Exactly. I would give birth to a cartoon character.

The conversation continued, with discussion about eyes (not a concern, we're pretty sure our baby would have two of those), hair (odds are good the kid would be bald either for the first few years of life (me) or the adult portion of life (Jeremiah) or both, but the times in between would be golden. Literally. Sort of of reddish brownish blonde.), and skin as soft as angel wings (I do not mean to be braggy, but some people actually PET me at work. Which *might* be sexual harassment, now that I think about it.), or unhealing alligator pelts (Oops. I guess we know who this is now.).

And this is why together we have not brought forth a child to grace this Earth.