Dear Perverts,

I have been noticing a ton of people Googling very naughty things about husbands and wives and urine and landing on my blog. I get it. That's what I titled my post. Except my post was about the dedication to your partner within your relationship and thinking that tinkle is funny. Not kinky stuff.

The stuff for which you are searching? You will not find here. EVER. The stuff you are looking for made me blush. I did not even go searching. I just looked at the phrases you were Googling and I was horrified.

So go on with your life. I won't judge. At least, not any more than I already have. Feel free to glance through the posts. Leave a comment if you'd like.

I am going to go take a shower with boiling water, bleach, and a brillo pad.

(Air) Hugs & (Air) Kisses,
Emily

Ah, Crap.

I am still sick.

I don't even want to get into it.

I just wanted to provide my reason for not writing.

And we have company thirty miles away. Thirty miles close. And while it makes me sad for our company that I am pathetically entertaining them while I'm sick ("Hello. Welcome to my house of germs."), I'm somewhat enjoying the irony of living in a city that has endless sunshine over three hundred days a year and having guests for the one weekend that it rains.

Welcome to my house of germs and the valley of the sun rain.

p.s. Mel now hunts Atticus. I'm not sure yet if it is all in fun or if she is thinking he looks like a delicious snack. He's only got her beat by a measly pound, which isn't much. And she has claws. I'm monitoring the situation closely.  She also takes great delight in running around after me in the morning. I look like I am leading a parade because then the dogs come after us. When she gets close enough she attacks my ankle/leg (without claws). And she still ignores Jeremiah.

The Polish are Coming!

So I collapsed into the couch in a heap of punchy, exhausted giggles when I checked my visitor counter yesterday night and discovered...wait for it...

I have had a visitor from POLAND. A call from the mother ship, if you will.

Jeremiah and I think it has to do with all the Polish references and excitement over our new Polish punk rock group, Rock Satan's Baby (learn about the band name here). Like I said, We will rock. You will love us. Polish peeps included.

In addition, I have now had 2 visits from my Russian friend. Still a PG-13 rating here. Nothing saucy. But you are welcome to come and visit the blog anytime. And lurk. Because that's what people do. They lurk on my blog. So lurk away.

P.S. I have the funniest story about Jeremiah. I just need to convince him that it IS funny. Or maybe he doesn't want you to laugh. If I get permission, be prepared for one funny story. Or several funny stories. Sometimes I just look at him and think, "Oh, boyfriend."

Zdra-stvu-eetee

That is for the one RUSSIAN reader that stumbled upon my blog.

How cool is that? I'm internationally known!

Probably they googled "Polish" and "knobs" looking for a racy girly site and found a white girl's blog about diy and commentary on life.

I'm sorry to disappoint.