Spike-alicious.

Spike had another vet visit. Our time with him has been shortened considerably. We were looking at 3 - 5 more months, and now we are at 2.

Two months. The cancer is spreading quickly, despite the meds.

I handled this by buying more squeaky toys and dog treats.*

Jeremiah handled this by driving us through McDonald's and getting Spike a burger and fries.

The vet handled this by giving Spike treat after treat. Seriously, I've never seen anything like it.

When your dying dog's favorite thing to do is to eat - you let him eat. In the last three weeks, he has gained a pound. That's a lot when you only weigh 17 pounds. The vet says he fully supports us having a fat dog at this point.

It's weird to think about him NOT being here. He's so stubborn and tough that I imagined him going on forever. But we are prepping ourselves for the upcoming months and doing everything we can to give Spikers a quality life.



*If you have dogs and have not tried the Neuman's dog treats (available at Target or Sprouts), you are missing out. They are little heart-shaped treats with a line down the middle so they can crack in half, which is great for us, because each dog gets a piece of the treat (At this point, Atticus has gained a bit of weight, too. But we will worry about that later.). The ingredients are SIMPLE and I can read them all - not a lot of fake-y chemical stuff. My dogs LOVE them. They adored the sweet potato treats and now we are on the peanut butter treats. We went out yesterday and bought more.

Dear neighbors, I deeply apologize for the fact that the image of me walking around the backyard in a tank top, bright green panties, and Jeremiah's old grey converse searching for granules in piles of dog barf is forever burned in your retinas.

Believe me, everyone. If time had permitted me to put on pants, I would have.

The title for this one practically wrote itself. Alternates I was considering:

• What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...one dog's true story.
• I feel like a million bucks...or at least $39.99 and the cost of some hydrogen peroxide.
• Do you know the number for the poison control line for pets? No? Because I do.

Here's the story.

Yesterday was a self-proclaimed "Day of Fun". More details on that later. Or never. Who knows. Anyway, to have the day of fun,  Jeremiah got up around 4:30, I think. I slept in until 5:55. This has little to do with the story, other than I am appalled that I consider 5:55 sleeping in late. That just makes me sad.

At one point (the point where I was dressed only half way) I could hear scraping noises outside. I asked Jeremiah to check on the dogs. It was then that he discovered that Spike had gotten into the ant poisoning that we put outside. It was in a container, covered and surrounded by bricks, but he got in.

And then he ate the poison.

I have to say one thing. If there is ever an emergency, I will need to duplicate myself. Jeremiah was little help (sorry Jeremiah, but it's the truth), except when he whipped out his credit card. He made the phone calls, but basic information was relayed from me to him to the person on the phone. Age of the dogs? No clue. Weight? No clue.  EPA number on the side of the poison? Couldn't find it.

So Spike eats the poison. Atticus is flitting around the backyard, and I am actually concerned that he might have gotten some.

The first person (actually the second person. Our vet was closed, so we called the emergency number they listed.) suggested that both dogs be given a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide, which is safe for the dogs and would make them barf. I pulled out the dropper/measuring thing that I use with the dogs (pet owners - you should ALWAYS have one of these on hands. You never know when you will need it.) and fed Atters a bit less then a tablespoon. Spike willingly drank about half of his and then I had to squirt the rest in with the dropper.

Atticus went outside. Promptly sat down, grinned at me, and horked up a tiny pile of dog food. I used my foot to smoosh through it. No poison. Thank god.

Spike didn't barf. The dog has an iron stomach. He's also ingested transmission fluid, primer, and a bunch of other random things. He walked around gaily, wagging his tail, smelling things.

Jeremiah calls a third person, recommended by the previous caller, which will cost $39.99, but will tell us if the ingredients are toxic. Jeremiah calls, I provide him with his information (time to learn your new phone number, Jeremiah) and the EPA number listed on the side of the container and we discover that it should not be a problem. Spike's stomach will be upset and he shouldn't have any water or food for awhile, but he will be fine.

After Jeremiah got off the phone he sat patiently and reassured me that I would not end up on a list of people who were banned from buying/rescuing shelter animals. I still do not believe him. I probably will not ever be able to adopt any animal again. I probably am not even allowed to volunteer (Actually, Jeremiah and several friends have forbade me from volunteering with animals as they fear that I will bring them all home.)

Then - Spike barfed.

He barfed up a pile of ant poison pellets.

And now he's fine.

"Cross ant poison off my bucket list!"

Wakey Wakey, Part Two

I told Jeremiah that I was trapped. I think that freaked him out, but that was how I felt. I just needed to go somewhere. I was tired of being here in Phoenix. I needed to move.

So a few weeks ago, we started planning. Time-wise, Jeremiah would only be able to take a few days off. Plus, the dogs. And cats. We decided the dogs would come with us and the cats would stay home. It took forever, but we also decided (the morning of) that we would be heading towards Petrified Forest National Park. I'd wanted to go since I drove past it with my dad nearly six years ago. Plus, that way we could stop in Winslow, Arizona.

We woke up on Tuesday, packed a suitcase (plus books, maps, guides, gps, etc.), packed supplies for the dogs, and took off to the gas station. Holy crap, gas got expensive, didn't it?

Anyway, being that my car is still new to me, I wasn't keen on the idea of Jeremiah driving. So I drove. About ninety miles. Then we hit the hills/mountains and I was screaming and white-knuckling the steering wheel and my eyes were closed and Jeremiah was all, "Um, maybe it's time I drive. You know, for the safety of the four lives in this car." So I pulled over at a small gas station and he took over.

For the rest of the trip.

Be careful what you wish for, babe.

Anyway, here we go on our picture journey.

First, we decided that if the dogs were comfortable, we probably would be happier, too. So we packed the dog bed that they love. 

Atticus is wearing his harness. I LOVE this harness, as it is breathable and does not cause him to lose fur or get red, irritated skin.

Seeing snow in AZ is pretty much the highlight of any trip. I get way too excited.

 So this sign just ticks me off. I kept saying to Jeremiah, "Any minute now, we're going to see one of those beasts - an elk or moose or whatever that is!!!" and guess what, Friends? We never did. Not one. Except at one point I think I might have seen one. It shall now be infamously referred to as "The Elk Shrub". And stop laughing Jeremiah, it totally could have been an elk. You don't know.

 Friends, I know for a fact that I've posted pictures of the tall grass like this before. But it seriously is so cool and I just love it.

Jeremiah: This is one long straight-ass road. Emily: Yes it is! I am going to take another picture!

 And then we reached a point where it was flat, with orange ground and blue sky. It was kind of awesome.

 The scene in the backseat looked like this. How can you not MELT when you see that little face?

Way out in the middle of nowhere, we passed this building. I guessed prison, because what a perfect place for criminals. If you escape, you're screwed. There's nothing else out here. I guessed right. I always do.

 We reached Winslow, Arizona. We stopped and GPS'ed the exact corner of Jackson Browne. I am not at all ashamed to share that we totally touristed it up.

"Standing on the corner of Winslow, Arizona..."

I was all, "Let's stay there on the way back!"

 Okay. We passed this HUGE HUGE HUGE power plant. I think it was nuclear. I am not sure. I CAN tell you with certainty that I prayed for it not to explode the entire time it was in sight. It was way intimidating. I didn't care for it.

But I did love the tacky dinosaurs and made Jeremiah slow way down. The street next to this was named Bloody Bucket Street, which I am pretty sure is the most awesome street name EVER.

We could have stayed here, too. But we did not. I am glad. When we stopped for gas next door on the way home I saw drunks stumbling back from the bar. Not my scene.

This is my scene. And I have a DQ story for the next part of this picture trip.

 We are going to end here for today. Mostly because I am tired of explaining each picture. And a little because PNF is so cool it doesn't deserve to be with my pictures of tacky touristy stuff. Although I can't promise that some of that won't sneak into the next post.

Wakey Wakey It's Spring Breaky!

So we were a bit sneaky.

We took a very short vacation and we didn't tell anyone.

Except my brother. Mostly because I was worried about the cats. So about an hour out of Phoenix, Jeremiah sent him an email alerting him of our travels and asking him to notify the authorities if he did not hear from us within the next few days. Also, he should find someone to feed the cats.

So as a sneak peek, our mini-vacation included this:

Atticus has adventure in his bones.

 And a lot of this:

My new car. I LOVE my new car.

It's a Little Like Hell. Minus the Good Company. And No S'Mores. Because There are S'Mores in Hell, Right? Right??

Guess who has a hound dog? Our new neighbors! 

 It is SWELL. 

OC Choppers shirt? Fine. 

Cans of Miller Lite? Fine (although I am speaking solely for myself). 

A dog that stays outside ALL DAY AND NIGHT (I am not even kidding. We were up until about one on Saturday, listening to the dog.) and BAYS NONSTOP? Unforgivable.  

I dream of inviting myself into their rental house, standing there, listening to their dog and saying to them  "Ohhhhhhhhh, so you CAN hear that in here. Okay. I thought maybe you couldn't."


But I am guessing that sarcasm might be wasted on them. And sarcasm is a terrible thing to waste on idiots.

You see, Friends, I don't get how someone can listen to that and not be bothered by it. Or not be bothered or worried that their neighbors might be annoyed. Because we have two of the naughtiest, most annoying little barkers that ever did exist. And we are extremely careful to keep outdoor annoyances at a minimum. Meaning, we don't leave our dogs outside unattended. Barking nonstop. Houses here are really crammed together. Your neighbors hear everything. It's something to think about. Or maybe not. Maybe that's just us.


Jeremiah and I are wondering if this is karmic retribution. He can't think of anything too horrible that he's done. I can think of some things, but I am pretty sure that inner-city teaching is the ultimate good karma coupon. If not, I may have to rethink some things.

And by the way...

Neighbors? 

It.is.ON.



p.s. And while we're on the subject of neighbors & being a curmudgeon, I would also like to point out that our neighbors are apparently hearing impaired. I have never in my life heard people speak so loudly. The house is a single level and it isn't that large. There is NO NEED to yell. They either all have ear infections or they have all been watching the tv a bit too loudly. Let's bring it down a notch, mmmmkay? 


p.p.s. And I totally have to tell you about how an old guy swore at me at Lowe's yesterday. As in, he dropped the f-bomb. And I really didn't deserve it. Promise.

Flood.

Jeremiah came home yesterday and when he opened the door, stepped into water. Like, splashy splash.

Laundry room? Floor covered in water.

Hall? Floor covered in water.

Living room? Floor covered in water.

Closest? Floor covered in water.

Bathroom? Two soaking wet dogs, a flood, and a toilet pipe with a hole in it spraying water all over the place.

I am going to focus on the positives. That Jeremiah had a half day simply because he had to use up his paid time off or they would have taken it. Had he been later, it could have been much worse. For the dogs AND the house.

Another positive? That we tore out the carpet to finish the concrete. So nothing is ruined. Except maybe some towels. And a few rugs. But I am NOT going to focus on that.

Also, I am not going to focus on the fact that the reason that the house flooded was because one of the dogs chewed on a label attached to the tube that runs water to the toilet and in the innocent act of chewing the tag chewed holes through the tube.

Little Bastards.

I know my dogs can't talk, but here is how I imagine THAT conversation going:

Atticus: With a Hispanic accent - Ohmygod, Spike! I want to tear that tag! That tag looks like fun! Oh, I am going to do it! Tears/chews tag with wild abandon.
Spike: Geez, Atticus. That DOES look like fun, but I am so freaking thirsty.
Atticus: Wild, crazy laughter - Ahahahahahaha! Ohmygosh! This is so fun! Merry Christmas!
Spike: X
Atticus: More wild & crazy laughter. Then, Whoosh! Chews through the tube. Water spraying everywhere.
Spike: This is fantastic! I LOVE to drink water! Drinks water for a few minutes.
Atticus: Ohmygosh! I hate water! I hate it! Merry Christmas!
Spike: Okaaaaay, Atticus. Turn off the water now. My feet AND my belly are all wet. Now let's just use our opposable thumbs to turn off the valve...Oh, shit.

I realize that probably that was only funny to me. Maybe Jeremiah. That is okay.

Dogs & Rugs

After getting the mega-deal on tile Saturday, we stopped at Lowe's. Before we go in, we review what we need so as to not be distracted by the other pretty things. On our list for Saturday was spray paint (and stay tuned for that barrel of fun), paint brushes, and a review of what would be needed to tile. And that was it.

But to get to the tile section we had to pass the rug section. What a stink.

They had a rug. 8 x 10. Just what we wanted. In fact, we had looked at it before. We've been moving our gorgeous green jute rug around and have been desperately needing an additional rug. The difference was that the shaggy cream and beige rug was on sale. Regularly $168. Clearance at $118. Jeremiah thinks he can get them to go lower. Asks for a manager. Gets the price knocked down to $85. Dollars. For an 8x10 rug. It would have been stupid to not get the rug. We would never find it cheaper.

So we got it.


Where do the dogs come in? They love the rug.

 Here's the Kisser, ready to start a fine game of Kong ball.

 He's really just a blur once he gets moving.

 And slightly cat-like. Notice that his back leg is jammed up under his front one. Doggy yoga.

 Good times until...

 Wait. Let's double check.

 Yup. The ball rolled under the entertainment center.

 Again.

 This is Atticus's "Please get my ball. Someone. Anyone. Please get my ball."

And there you go. A post about a bargain rug and the dogs.

P.S. I don't know what point Atters switched from his Kong to the tennis ball. He's a quick little bugger, I tell ya.

Dog Days

For Christmas, early Christmas, Michigan Santa(s) sent me a digital STD camera. It's really called something else, but STD gets the eye-roll from Jeremiah. It's an SLR, I think. Anyway, I've been trying it out on a lot of plants (so fun) and I thought that the dogs might be good subjects, too. 'Cause they're cute. You know they are. Anyway, here are my favorite shots from this weekend.
I love both the shot above and below. I love the shadows on Spike.
The Kisser. Hiding/burrowing in the blankets.
Lean on me.
Below- He just looks so flippin' confused.
So I've noticed in the two days that I've used the camera that even when using the flash, it doesn't create red-eye like a point and shoot. In addition, I get a lot less shots that end up blurry. Thanks for checking out my pictures...and my pooches.

Nail Cuttin' Time

Every couple of months Spike and Jeremiah do a delicate dance called "Trimming of the Raptor Claws".

It doesn't go well.

Spike is a huge baby and whines, wiggles, and licks. The whole time.

While Atticus watches.

He usually gets his done at a grooming place because he bites when I try to do his. Naughtiness abounds!

So here's the first shot:
Atticus is simply enjoying the sun, perhaps teasing Spike.
Oh, yeah. The good life. But then wait...things are getting awkward.
Look at the Kisser's face now! He's worrying that he might be next. He's totally thinking, "Do not make eye-contact with the dude. Do not make eye-contact with the dude."

Final shot:
Dead wiener.

Dinner and Dessert

I got the dogs Halloween costumes at Target today.

I'd like to say that I'm above that and wouldn't do it, but I'm not. You might not dress up your pets, but I do. And mine seem to like it. Get over it. I don't roll my eyes at your non-costumed dog, so no judging. And if you do judge...yeah, I don't care. 'Cause these dogs? Looking cutie patootie.

First we have some nice afternoon outdoor shots of Kisser. He seems to enjoy being an ice cream sundae. The top three shots are my favorites.


Indoors was a bit more chaotic, as Jeremiah was removing the old island (it is being repurposed in the garage as a work area for me, as he already has one) and installing the new one. There were no trips to the emergency room. yay.
Wiener as a wiener.
Atticus with the banana hat. Wearing it sideways because "party up in here"!
Side view - I don't think he likes the hat as much as the rest of his costume.

Happy Halloween!!

P.S. Listening to: White Stripes - Under Great White Northern Lights. It's INCREDIBLE.

So...Yeah. We Own Pint-Sized Devils.

Is it:

A. Snowing in AZ
B. A DIY gone awry
C. What the dogs do when they want to be extra naughty


If you guessed C, you are correct. Those little butt munches have their own blanket that they cozy up in and when they are not cozy in it, they rip the shredding out and run around with it. So much fun. This is what they do when we are preoccupied with house stuff. Little bastards.

Casual Friday

Or, Atticus's stripper outfit

Sharing a Little Happy

Atticus is truly my dog. Any opportunity to ham it up, he goes for it. Yes, they are in matching fleece-lined, reflective striped, water-resistant jackets. No, I am not ashamed.
I can't take credit for the pictures. Le boyfriend did the photography.
Atticus enjoying the sunshine...
...and squeeeenting because the sun eez so bright, you know?
I think Jer did a great job with this shot. It allows you to see Spike in all of his low-riding glory. And yes, they also having matching sweaters for days when they just need something light.

p.s. This morning Jer left early for work. He let the dogs back into the bedroom and Spike got comfy right next to me. Atticus just kept hopping all over the bed. Hop. Hop Hop. Hop. Hop. Then, THUD. He fell off the bed. I laugh just thinking about it.