About Five Months Ago, I Bought a New Car.

I got a new car! About five months ago!

After checking out lots of cars (Toyota Rav-4, Honda CRV, Ford Edge, Nissan Rogue, Subaru Forester, and Subaru Outback) I finally went with the Subaru Forester. It rated well in the reports/reviews, and I've been so happy with my Outback that I felt content staying with a company that I liked. Plus, when I drove it, Jeremiah pointed out that I seemed the most comfortable.

Here's the shocker, though.

I ended up buying NEW, which I had no plans to do. But then I thought about it. I keep my cars a long time. I have never purchased a car and made the choices myself. And I wanted to make some choices and have a car that was MINE.

Emily's Car History:
1. Earl, a station wagon. Big safe car from dad. Had it for a few months. Ran over things (friend's garbage can) and didn't even know it because it was so big.
2. BBC (Big Black Car) A Cadillac Coupe Deville. LOVED this car. Had it for years - high school and college. Big enough trunk to store bodies (not that I've tried) and the ride was smooth. And it had the nicest leather. And it had a moon roof. And it was FAST. This one came from dad, who bought it off my brother.
3. Subaru Legacy - Dad bought Old Red (before it was affectionately called Old Red) and sold me the Legacy at an astonishingly low price. Newest car I'd ever owned. I loved this car. I felt safe and secure in it, especially considering I was logging over a hundred miles a day some days, between driving to Grand Haven to student teach and then to Grand Rapids to my grad classes.
4. Subaru Legacy Outback "Old Red" - Dad traded me when I moved to Phoenix because my car didn't have air-conditioning.

So you can see several things - One, being that my dad has been AWESOME in helping me out with cars. Thanks for that, dad. I always appreciated it but even more so now that I've done the whole car-buying thing.

Two, I've honestly never picked out my own car. I have loved all the cars I've had (minus Earl), and they were mine, but I wanted to choose something that was just for me.

So I did.

And I got picky. I developed a list of non-negotiables. I had a list of acceptable colors. And I didn't settle.

I wanted:

• Heated seats - and FYI? laughing at someone when they ask for this in a car is a great way to NOT seal the deal.
• Fog lights - again - don't laugh at me. I have bad night vision and these REALLY help.
• iPod hookup - not just USB connection, but the actual thing for my iPod.
• Steering wheel controls - because they are awesome.
• Blue or green color on the outside.
• Dark interior cloth or grey leather.

So one evening while working late - I was heading to Michigan for my graduation the next day - I got an email from a dealership asking me what they could to get my business. I said that they really did not have anything I wanted, as I wanted the blue Forester. If they were willing to make a deal on an upgraded (limited) forester in the sage green, we could talk.

He ended up giving me a great deal, plus covered oil-changes for two years, and hundreds of dollars in giftcards (Target & Subaru). I made a down payment to hold the car, and I bought it.

These pictures aren't the greatest, but here's my new car!

The coolest thing about it is that sometimes it looks green, sometimes blue, sometimes grey. I love it. Plus, it never looks dirty. Unless a bird poos on it. That you can see.

Bright lights.

I have bigger wheels with the upgraded limited. I am not sure what that means, but apparently it is impressive.

The back seat is amazing. The seats recline. Cupholders and armrests. Holders in the door designed for water bottles.

Huge back window for safety. And you can't see it, but it has a HUGE panoramic moon roof. Which I use. Not in the summer, but spring, winter, and fall.

Steering wheel controls! Bluetooth (which I never use, because I don't use my phone while driving.)!

Okay. I LOVE the iPod hookup. Love. As in, best thing ever. The limited also has the larger screen.

Love my shifter. Makes me feel sporty. Heated seats.

 I was able to make a very considerable down payment because every month I set aside money (as I did not have a car payment to make on Old Red).

The night I brought the new car home, it was parked next to Old Red. And I sat in the new car and cried. Jeremiah found me in the driver's seat, sobbing. He was trying to comfort me from the backseat by rubbing my shoulders.

Me: But.Sob.It.Sob.Isn't Old Red! Sobs.
J: You will love this car, too. You just need to get used to it.
Me: No I won't. Sniffles
J: Yes, you wi...Oh, my god! The cup holders back here are illuminated! They actually light up! I mean, I'm sorry. I know you are sad.

I have been driving it for about five months now and I can honestly say that I love it. It's a nice ride. I still sometimes have trouble believing that it is mine. Jeremiah has even declared it his dream car if he ever wins the lottery. It's a NICE car, Friends.

A few weeks ago, I sold Old Red. It was really hard, but I feel as though it went to a good home. Some biker who biked across the United States. He wanted a big car to throw his bike in to keep it safe. I got more money than I was expecting, so that was good.

p.s.
Oh, and just in case people were wondering about the other cars and why I did not opt for them:

Rogue - Not enough head room in the front seats. I am only 5'5''. I should have plenty of room. And I didn't. Plus, the lower models had NOTHING special about them. Everything was an extra or an add-on. Including the basic roof racks.

Edge - This was actually a close one. I LOVED the quick pick up. Then I tried to make a tight turn in a parking lot and it was horrible. The Edge is built on a truck frame, and it shows in the turns. Not a good car for city people. Plus, the Ford people were RUDE. One guy made a joke about us leaving by saying "What? You aren't going to buy from me because I'm Hispanic?" No, asshat. I am not buying from you because you are stupid. Two totally different things.  And.and.and. They kept my driver's license and I didn't realize it until I went to another dealership to drive another car and didn't have it.

Outback - Honestly, I loved it. Slightly more expensive. Slightly smoother ride. But something about it just wasn't right.

CRV - Used CRVs have hatches that open on the side, which bothered me for hauling stuff. The driver's seat and passenger's seat are not separated by a center console, which would have been problematic as I set my stuff on the floor of the passenger seat. Without that console, crap could easily roll over to the driver's side and become a hazard if it were to become lodged under a pedal.

Rav-4 - Didn't like anything about it. Didn't even drive it.

p.p.s. Also a big thanks to my brother and Jeremiah, who tolerated a lot of questions and offered suggestions. That way I was able to go in and not look like an idiot while talking about the cars. Oh, and my favorite line was from Jeremiah, who was constantly being approached by dealers about tricking out cars while I was shopping. He would say "You know, SHE's the one that you want to be talking to. SHE's buying the car. And SHE doesn't care about rims. SHE cares about safety features and heated seats. You might actually want to talk to HER."

Do you hear that, car dealers? Women can buy their own cars. With their own money. Shocker, I know.

 So there you go! Anyone else make any recent car purchases?

Let's Start with the Basics - Parking.

Ready, Friends?

It is that time of the week. The time when you take a break from all that work you are doing for your weekly driving lesson.

We are going to start with an easy one.

Or more accurately, what should be an easy one.

Parking.

Do you know what chaps my ass?

This:

No, this is not a picture from England. This is my street. I LOVE that both red cars on either side of the road are parked facing the wrong direction. It is a shitload of awesome around my house, let me tell you.

 Rule Number One: When you park, you have to park (by law) in the direction that the traffic flows. Passenger side against the curb.  IT JUST MAKES SENSE. That way, when you go to drive away from your parking spot, you are NOT driving on the WRONG side of the road.

In addition, your craptastic parking job won't freak out regular, less imaginative drivers who are driving down the correct side of the road.

You would think especially near intersections, like in the photo above, you would stick to the rules. Apparently NOT SO MUCH.

Exhibit B:

Notice the black truck and the white car. Same intersection, different day. I was all, "I have had it, Jeremiah. I am calling the non-emergency line because there are too many idiots living near us." Jeremiah's response: "Um, considering it is the police officer's SON, I don't think they will really care." And then I said a profanity that is not fit for your gentle ears. 

To be fair, I was a country girl growing up and did not have to do street parking. My senior year of college I had to park on the street for like, two minutes, and my friend Derek went ape-shit and informed me that I was on the wrong side and I should move my car immediately. Friends don't let friends park on the wrong side of the road. 

But apparently the police do.

And I am SORRY, but if you have lived in the city or cramped suburbs, you have NO excuse. You should know the rules.


And then let us examine Exhibit 3: Parking Lot

I took these pictures of Old Red IN ONE DAY. Old Red is in the center. In general, this is how bad the parking is in Arizona. People are not only incapable of parking correctly on the street, but it is also a challenge to pull forward into a spot. And forget backing up and straightening the cars out a bit. That would be an inconvenience.

I got a new car (more on this later) and I have already been scraped up in the school parking lot. In addition, Jeremiah says that my new vehicle is a magnet for crappy drivers. We go into a store? No one parked around me. We come out? Idiots parked in the same parking spot as me. Not next to me, but squished right in there with me.

 Bastards.

So I guess what I am saying is this: Be aware of parking rules in your area. People do NOT love it when you park on the wrong side of the road. You are NOT too special to follow the rules like everyone else. Suck it up and turn your freaking car around. And if you park crookedly, back the freak up and try it again.

Believe it or not, people notice your parking. And if they are like me and you park like this, they laugh at you and curse the day you were born.



And then they post the pictures online.

P.S. Okay, let's hear it. You KNOW there is something that irks you about other drivers. Spill. 

Hammered

Jeremiah is currently working upstairs.

I am downstairs. Working on my lesson plans. Or blogging. Whatever.

A few seconds ago, he ran downstairs and out into the garage. He needed a hammer and a nail.

He came back in with "his" hammer.

Y'all?

It was my dad's. I found it when I cleaned out Old Red in January. Yes, it had been in my car for six years and I did not even know it.

Me: Eying hammer suspiciously Um, that hammer belongs to my dad. Gasp That's MY DAD'S HAMMER!
Me (again): I forgot about that one. I thought you were getting the one that I accidentally brought home from work. And kept.
Me (again and again): So wait. Technically I have two hammers and you have how many?
Jeremiah: huffy and indignant I have owned hammers before. 

But I am not sure he has. Because I have managed to acquire two hammers in a period of six years, completely unintentionally. And I haven't lost either of them.

p.s. I also found the top saw part of a tree saw, several steak knives, and the world's largest screwdriver in the hidden compartments of Old Red. The screwdriver I found sitting below my windshield wipers after the car was fixed in CALIFORNIA. I totally could have injured myself or someone driving home with it resting there. I did not know what to do with it, so I added it to my apparent arsenal of rusty tools/weapons/kitchen cutlery in the back of Red where it remained for the last five years. Pretty soon I am going to need a toolbox. Or an alibi, because Friends? That's a lot of scary shit to be hauling unknowingly.

p.p.s. I found a ton of other stuff in there, too, over the years. Which is weird because I remember it getting cleaned out before my dad and I traded cars. Perhaps my dad wanted me to have these things. I think I remember him purposefully leaving some of it in the car (not the tree saw or knives). Anyway, I got some pretty great things like bungee cords and a tape measure. And I use both regularly. One time I whipped out my bungee cords and someone said "You keep those in your car?" and I was all "Duh. Who doesn't keep bungee cords in their car?".  I am like a boyscout. Always prepared. And dad? FINDER'S KEEPERS. Except the tree saw. Because Jeremiah gets a scary look on his face and talks about altering it to use in the backyard. Please take that back ASAP.

Highs (and Lows) Continued...

Because I Forgot Some Crap.


Forgotten Thing 1: I dressed up as a ghetto fabulous gangsta for an assembly this week and danced in front of half the school. My ensemble was complete with an over-sized jersey, a huge crown, a goblet (not a GOBLIN, although that would be SWEET if David Bowie showed up in stretchy pants), a gold cane with REAL (fake) diamonds, lots of rings, and fancy diamond shades. I laughed the whole time. At one point, I nearly peed my pants when a coworker bent down while wearing a viking helmet and I leaned over and nearly had an eye poked out by her giant horn. I almost peed when I TOLD her that her giant horn almost poked my eye out.

Thing 2: After, my students were all like, "That was TIGHT! You were TIGHT!" Which is fun. Because honestly, if I took those skillz out in public, I'd be booed. And people would throw things. And then they would take my plastic gold cane and break it.

Thing 3: After working 12 hours on Thursday I was driving home in the dark and the idiot behind me in a huge SUV was driving with his high beams AND his fog lights (with one fog light out which is actually what drove me carazy - get it? CAR azy?). Anyway, I have fog lights and only use them when it is foggy, which is almost NEVER here. But that night I decided to try them out and HOLY CRAP I could actually SEE! The headlights on old red aren't super bright but those foggers sure are. So now the fog lights might be non-negotiables, too.  But I promise I won't use them with the high beams.

You're Killing Me, Smalls.

I'm shopping for a new car. I didn't tell you.

Or did I? I don't really know. 

If I didn't, I'm sorry. Plan on some super stories about some true idiots. I'm sure that there are some fantastic, smart, and honest car salesmen.

I haven't met them. I'm thinking I could put Atticus in his business suit:

Choo know the ladies love me.

And you might get a more intelligent, honest, and kind (if you like licks) salesman. He might get in some trouble for sexual harassment, but honestly? Not his fault.


Anyway, I just this very today got this email from Nissan:

 Emily,

Don't miss the biggest sales event of the year! Prime financing available for less than perfect credit!

• No payment for 90 days!
• 0.0%APR available!
• 3.9%APR for less than perfect credit!
• Arizona's largest selection of new Nissan's!
• Easy no haggle best pricing in place!
• Sale absolutley ends 05/31/11!
• Additonal rebates on most models!

DO NOT MISS THIS SALE!
-
Call Now 

Hey, Idiots. I think I already missed the sale. Seeing as how it is NOVEMBER. Also? Learn how to spell.

And earlier in the month I got this one, again from Nissan. Y'all are DUMB, Nissan. 

Caleb from ***** Nissan, Just want to fallow up and see if you would like to come back in and drive the rogue again and let us make you an offer you can reffuse. My managment team is extreamly motivated to get rid of some of our rogues especially sence are 2012 are coming in by the truck load. so if your still intrested in the rogue now is the time to get the deal of a lifetime. hope to hear from you soon have a great day.

I sent an email back to Caleb and I was like, "Hahahahahahahaha! Try spell check, "sence" you can't spell. It's awesome and FREE!"

And this? This is from the big kahuna himself. Don't you think someone checks this garbage before they send it out? I sent him an email saying that I'd spell check things for him for a small fee, that way he wouldn't send out mass-emails with mistakes in it. I didn't get a reply.

 

I would like to invite you back to personally sit down with you and show you not only to see how easy it is to do business here but, to also show you how we can save you some money.

They also have signs that say "Hundreds of Nissan Versa's on Sale Today!" that they put up on a regular basis. I die a little every.single.time I drive by it.

I'm losing faith in humanity. I know I makes mistackes sometymes, butt R U kiddding me hear? Freaking run it by someone with some skills. Jeremiah told them they should hire me. I'd gladly whoop their asses into shape.

Anyone else irked by something that you see all the time? Or do the wrong groups of people seem to be multiplying?

It's Been Seven Hours and Fifteen days or, Nothing Compares 2U

Does anyone else still sing Sinead O'Connor songs?

No?

Just me?

Huh. I can really belt it out at home.  Sinead's tape was one of my very first cassette tapes. Ever. It was Sinead and Madonna's Like a Prayer. Loved them both. I've included a much older O'Connor for you, if you'd like to listen while you read.




And actually, I was thinking that next week will be the two year anniversary of my car accident. So "it's been two years and zero days...since they tried to take my car away..."

Yeah. If you don't know me well or haven't been reading long, I've got a *slight* addiction to my car. It's a Subaru. An Outback. When I got my job here in Arizona my dad packed it full of my stuff, I added my cat to the passenger seat, and off we went. My grandma would say that we were "off like a dirty diaper." Is my grandma the only one who says that?

Anyway, I was sitting at a red light near where I work, in the left turn lane. Facing north, wanting to turn west. Got it pictured in your head? A car going east and a car going west ran THEIR red light and I think that one of them might have been turning? Who knows. Regardless, both truck and SUV went spinning around in the intersection, connected. The SUV came loose, shot out of the intersection, and came towards me head on. If you would like to visualize my expression, it was one of disbelief. Mouth open. "Why the face!" and "Why me?" kept running through my head. Then, of all the amazing things, the SUV turned at last minute and didn't hit me. They went past my passenger side and I thought I was in the clear. Just freakin' kidding. They hit the rear passenger side. Hard. And then I was sitting there in six lanes of traffic, no one stopping for the three car accident (welcome to Phoenix, people). I couldn't get out of my car until an officer stopped traffic to let me out. (Dad, this time I remembered to put it in park. You only forget to do that just the one time.)

 I called Jeremiah because I was flipping out and sad. Then I called a coworker who raced down to be with me. What a good friend. I was a shaky, crying mess. Mostly because I think that I treat others how I want to be treated and I didn't think I deserved being hit while sitting at a red light. And yes, it was a delight calling my insurance company to tell them that I was hit while at a standstill. So I was rear-ended? No. Well, how did I get hit? I must have been moving a little? No. Just so you can get in-the-moment-pissed-off with me, both drivers were uninsured and driving cars that didn't belong to them. Again, welcome to Phoenix. Luckily, the owners of the cars DID have insurance and in the end, I win. I always do.

Subaru held up like a pro. Poor thing took the brunt of the hit. Somewhere I have pictures of the SUV that hit me and they were in much worse shape. Well, duh, but I mean specifically from hitting MY car, not from the other accident.

It was over four thousand dollars damage and they still didn't total my car. Subarus hold a lot of their resale value. I'm surprised you didn't know that (name the movie). They had to replace the whole side panel and the back one, too.

 And I'm still in Subaru to this very day. Someday very soon I might need a new car. And I will probably cry, because that's what I do.  But I will remember how Subaru took care of me and it is that thought that will keep me moving on.

Anyone else have weird car attachments?

And in case you would like original Sinead, here you go:

My Swagger Wagon

Maybe you've seen the commercial for the swagger wagon?



My swagger wagon is actually a wagon, not a mini van. And Jeremiah doesn't rap with me. But I haul some suh-weet stuff in my ride.

 Like when we replaced our island with a more functional one from Ikea. Popped it in the Subaru. Like that, yo.

And when I got the jacuzzi tub $700 off the original price? Threw it in the back of the Subaru before the nice man could change his mind.

I just thought I would share some Subaru love with you. Because I do. I love my car. Probably more than is normal. And this year, my car turned 15. Fifteen. Oldest car in the school parking lot. By far. Let me just quickly point out that my 15 year old car has fantastic heated seats and many other perks that some "nicer & newer" cars around don't have.

Anyone else love their car an obscene amount? Anyone get a new car? Anyone own a car that is older than mine?