It's a Belated Thanksgiving. With a Completely Unimportant Table Story Thrown In for Good Measure.

Happy Thanksgiving! Late. I know. That's okay, right? Here's how the table looked for us this Thanksgiving:

I opted for yellows, greens, and some orange thrown in for good measure. The tablecloth is from Target on clearance. The place mats are Crate & Barrel via Goodwill. All glassware is from Salvation Army - plates, white dish with gourds, everything. The gourds are from last year. I  think they are dehydrated.

Table Story - As you may or may not know, I bought a dining room table for $10 at a yard sale when I first moved here. Love the table. Love the color. Rectangular. With a leaf if needed. Well, recently, we decided that we needed that leaf. What with all our guests. So we put the leaf in and everything was great. Except that it wasn't. The table now made for awkward movement around the nook. No one likes awkward nook movement. Am I right?

Meanwhile, we purchased a round pedestal table for the front room for games off of Craigslist for $35. Not bad. Had it for over a year and then came across and much more us round table at Salvation Army for only $25. GORGEOUS TABLE. We got it.

So we now have a total of three dining tables. That may seem excessive, but keep in mind that the total for all three tables is $70. We tried to sell the original table on Craigslist. It didn't sell. Crazy people, who wouldn't want a solid round table?

Then I had an epiphany. What if we dismantled my beloved rectangular table and used the old round one for awhile to see if it helps the flow in the nook? And things are flowing better.

And so that is why the table looks round instead of rectangular. Because it is. And that is my table story.

These two candle shots showcase two things. My love for candles and my love for glass.
The gourds that won't die.
Place mats that I probably should have ironed after I washed them but was too lazy or tired so I didn't. And all of the food. That we will be eating for the rest of our lives. Do you see the frozen fruit salad? You may remember that I made it last year. I was so excited about making it this year and I was telling Jeremiah about it and he said this "That sounds good. I can't wait to try it." I was all, "Um, you have." He claims that once he tried it on Thanksgiving, he remembered it. Not the best save, Boyfriend, but I'll take it. This time.
I don't have actual green dishes, so the plates are slightly turquoise-y. I've placed myself on a no-new-dishes-except-for-white-because-white-goes-with-everything restriction. So no green plates.

How was your Thanksgiving?

This year, I am most thankful for my readers. I don't know who all of you are - but appreciate you taking the time to read. If you'd like to leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you!


Idiots on Bikes

Today Jeremiah convinced me that I really wanted to bike with him. I reluctantly went with, thinking about the last time that we biked and my TIRE (not the tube) got an odd hole and we had to walk home. With the bikes. Sadsies.

Anyway, I geared up and he geared up and we were ready to go.

I took the right side of the paved bike trail, as to 1) Not be in anyone's way 2) Leave the moving out of peoples' ways to Jeremiah.

We went along at a leisurely pace. By leisurely I mean that I went a good speed for me and Jeremiah braked a lot to slow down to my speed.

As we are leisurely biking along, with Jeremiah regularly checking back to make sure he didn't need to move out of someone's way, I felt/heard/saw someone fly by my RIGHT SIDE without announcing themselves. The paved path is wide enough for him to have gone by Jeremiah on the left. He could have also used biking etiquette and slowed down and then announced his intentions with an "On your left!".

But no.

This idiot went flying by ME. On the right. You aren't supposed to pass on the right. We all know that, don't we? By the way, this rule applies to cars, too. Just saying. I know that none of my blog readers are passing on the right types...

So I put myself in this guy's shoes.

 He comes upon two bikers on the path. One is obviously a pro, with all the gear, fancy saddle, Camelbak, shoe clips for the pedals, etc. The other biker might qualify for the slowest, wobbliest biker race ever. Big cruiser with an "I heart my bike" bell. Tennis shoes. A t-shirt stating "I'm 21. R U?". That weird biker that got her leg caught in the pedal earlier that you missed? She's riding on the far right. You could pass the pro biker on the left and stay on the path. Or you could hop the trail, ride in the sand/gravel, and (I'm guessing purposefully) intimidate the beginner.Which would place you in the same category of hell as people who intimidate little children or tease puppies.

You choose to do the latter, and hop off the trail, fly by the beginner, scaring the shit out of her and prompting her to say in her best smart ass voice "ON YOUR RIGHT!"

And as that girl says that, you are hopping back on the path, proud at your show-offity-ness.

And you begin to wobble.

Then you wipe the hell out.

Falling on your left side, scraping the shit out of your bare little legs (those stretchy shorts don't protect knees, do they Mr. Butthole Biker?) and your arm/hands.

The two bikers that you were so eager to pass? They stopped (on the side of the trail. Let's not forget biking etiquette, please). They have nothing else to stare at except you - they can't pass you on the left (but you better believe they would have done a sing-song "On your left, asshole"), because you are perpendicularly blocking the path. With your bloody body and your bike. So they stare. They could ask if you are okay, but the man is being oddly silent (and he's normally so polite. He might be pissed that you scared his girlfriend or that you give bikers a bad name) and the girl (who is NEVER nice and will laugh at just about anybody that gets hurt) is trying not to laugh and is getting by with a wide smile.

So you get up and pedal off as fast as you can.


Do I get credit for not laughing until he was out of earshot? And how about the fact that I didn't reenact the scene until he was out of view?

But I didn't ask if he was okay. I did stare. And I did say "On your right" which *might* have had something to do with the fall.

This is probably why I'm going to hell. For sure that idiot will be there too. If hell is anything like Dante wrote it, the man will be wiping out with people watching over and over again for eternity. Totally worth the flames.

p.s. If any of you reading in the Phoenix area have a husband/boyfriend/dad/son/uncle/grandpa come home today and he is all bloody and he tells you that it is because he was rescuing a whole heap of kittens from certain death he is lying his ass off.



I've got a couple.

First - Our (main) tree has been up since Saturday. Don't judge me. I freaking LOVE Christmas and wanted to be able to put up ornaments on Thanksgiving. We didn't know how long it would take to put up the new tree as it is HUGE (thanks mom). So Boyfriend did it early.

Second - I've been listening to Christmas music for a solid two weeks. Jeremiah hasn't started twitching yet so that's a good sign.

Third - Not really a confession but...CHAPTER THREE HAS BEEN TURNED IN TO MY PROFESSOR! Not that she won't send it back with one hundred things to fix, but STILL. Not that I don't have to add all the little details, but STILL.

Fourth - I lied to car dealers. I'm pretty sure they lie to me so this one is actually okay, right?

All right, your turn. 'Fess up.


Highs (and Lows) Continued...

Because I Forgot Some Crap.

Forgotten Thing 1: I dressed up as a ghetto fabulous gangsta for an assembly this week and danced in front of half the school. My ensemble was complete with an over-sized jersey, a huge crown, a goblet (not a GOBLIN, although that would be SWEET if David Bowie showed up in stretchy pants), a gold cane with REAL (fake) diamonds, lots of rings, and fancy diamond shades. I laughed the whole time. At one point, I nearly peed my pants when a coworker bent down while wearing a viking helmet and I leaned over and nearly had an eye poked out by her giant horn. I almost peed when I TOLD her that her giant horn almost poked my eye out.

Thing 2: After, my students were all like, "That was TIGHT! You were TIGHT!" Which is fun. Because honestly, if I took those skillz out in public, I'd be booed. And people would throw things. And then they would take my plastic gold cane and break it.

Thing 3: After working 12 hours on Thursday I was driving home in the dark and the idiot behind me in a huge SUV was driving with his high beams AND his fog lights (with one fog light out which is actually what drove me carazy - get it? CAR azy?). Anyway, I have fog lights and only use them when it is foggy, which is almost NEVER here. But that night I decided to try them out and HOLY CRAP I could actually SEE! The headlights on old red aren't super bright but those foggers sure are. So now the fog lights might be non-negotiables, too.  But I promise I won't use them with the high beams.


Highs (and Lows) of the Week

I'm almost done with my thesis. ALMOST. I'm so excited. I'd like a weekend where I can actually DO things, instead of sitting with piles and piles of research and my laptop. I bet you're excited to not have to listen to me yammer on about it, too...

Anyway, a quick review of the week. Because I need a break.

  1. Jeremiah rode his bike for forty miles. In a row. I told him I probably would have gotten the runs after mile 25. 
  2. Immediately upon returning, Jeremiah came down with something. The man that never gets sick is FINALLY sick. I guess coughing on his toothbrush actually works. Go me.
  3. While readying myself for the day in the bathroom, I noticed that Maddie was chewing on Jeremiah's toothbrush's bristles. And then she carried it (in her mouth) to the floor and batted it around a little. I made a mental note to tell Jeremiah and in my stress, immediately forgot. Then I put the toothbrush back.
  4. (Do you know where this is going?) That night, while Jeremiah is brushing his teeth, I'm all, "I think I wanted to tell you something...but I forget what it was..."
  5. Afterwards, I was all, "Oh, yeah...the cat's been chewing on your toothbrush. I put it back. You're welcome."
  6. I might have remembered earlier but I think I was cranky about something so I let him brush anyway. 
  7. I worked twelve hours yesterday. 
  8. Today I didn't brush my hair AT ALL. I put it in a fashionably messy up-do. This is what happens when you make your teachers work twelve hours.
  9. I got bangs. (That could almost be a really inappropriate sentence.) When I went in for a cut she added bangs for some interest in the front. I'm liking them. 
  10. I'm still playing games with the car people. Jeremiah said I'm good at playing mind games.
  11. Jeremiah's response on number 10 might be the reason for number 6. 
  12. I AM good at games and I LOVE to win, so I'm still looking for cars. And playing games. Last week I got some reams of paper out of the Subaru dealership. I told them teachers buy their own paper at my school (which is true) and they gave me paper.
  13. They did not, however, give me a car. Sadsies.
  14. I've learned that heated seats are a non-negotiable for me. Who knew? I might be spoiled in my fifteen year old car. 
  15. I'm really proud of my students. More details on this later.
 So...review your week. Any highlights? I know that Ohio Emily had a baby! Congratulations!
Wait. Can any of us really top that?


Story Time

I've managed to read a few more books. You know, in between work, school, house crap, and more work and more school. I can't wait until I'm finished with my thesis. I don't remember the last one being this annoying. Maybe because I was 21 & it was one of my few responsibilities? Hmmm...

Anyway, here's what I've been reading:

  • Curse of the Spellmans, by Lisa Lutz - I liked this. Weird humor, kept me reading. A light & easy read.
  • Spellman Files - This is actually the first book. I recommend reading them in order. This one was just as fun. 
  • DaVinci Code, by Dan Brown - Love me some conspiracy theories.
  • Confessions of a Shopaholic - M'eh. I wanted to call the main character and offer some advice on how to not be stupid and spendy.
  • Devils' Corner, by Lisa Scottoline - Liked it. Didn't love it.
Anyone read any good books lately? I've got STACKS of books waiting for me once this thesis is done...but I'm always up for more suggestions!

Now sadly, I must get back to thesis-ing.


    You're Killing Me, Smalls.

    I'm shopping for a new car. I didn't tell you.

    Or did I? I don't really know. 

    If I didn't, I'm sorry. Plan on some super stories about some true idiots. I'm sure that there are some fantastic, smart, and honest car salesmen.

    I haven't met them. I'm thinking I could put Atticus in his business suit:

    Choo know the ladies love me.
    And you might get a more intelligent, honest, and kind (if you like licks) salesman. He might get in some trouble for sexual harassment, but honestly? Not his fault.

    Anyway, I just this very today got this email from Nissan:


    Don't miss the biggest sales event of the year! Prime financing available for less than perfect credit!

    • No payment for 90 days!
    • 0.0%APR available!
    • 3.9%APR for less than perfect credit!
    • Arizona's largest selection of new Nissan's!
    • Easy no haggle best pricing in place!
    • Sale absolutley ends 05/31/11!
    • Additonal rebates on most models!

    Call Now 

    Hey, Idiots. I think I already missed the sale. Seeing as how it is NOVEMBER. Also? Learn how to spell.

    And earlier in the month I got this one, again from Nissan. Y'all are DUMB, Nissan. 
    Caleb from ***** Nissan, Just want to fallow up and see if you would like to come back in and drive the rogue again and let us make you an offer you can reffuse. My managment team is extreamly motivated to get rid of some of our rogues especially sence are 2012 are coming in by the truck load. so if your still intrested in the rogue now is the time to get the deal of a lifetime. hope to hear from you soon have a great day.

    I sent an email back to Caleb and I was like, "Hahahahahahahaha! Try spell check, "sence" you can't spell. It's awesome and FREE!"

    And this? This is from the big kahuna himself. Don't you think someone checks this garbage before they send it out? I sent him an email saying that I'd spell check things for him for a small fee, that way he wouldn't send out mass-emails with mistakes in it. I didn't get a reply.
    I would like to invite you back to personally sit down with you and show you not only to see how easy it is to do business here but, to also show you how we can save you some money.

    They also have signs that say "Hundreds of Nissan Versa's on Sale Today!" that they put up on a regular basis. I die a little every.single.time I drive by it.

    I'm losing faith in humanity. I know I makes mistackes sometymes, butt R U kiddding me hear? Freaking run it by someone with some skills. Jeremiah told them they should hire me. I'd gladly whoop their asses into shape.

    Anyone else irked by something that you see all the time? Or do the wrong groups of people seem to be multiplying?


    Rotten Banana

    Oh, my.

    Remember the post where I asked for good banana recipes? The response was overwhelming. I'm going to have to ask you to stop sending me recipes. It's locking up my email and Blogger is complaining about too much traffic.  

    That's sarcasm, in case anyone missed it. It's funny because I didn't get ANY responses. So I make a joke about it. It's my best coping mechanism.

    I'm going to be honest. This bread? The muffins? Old news here at the house. I'm working on getting the thesis written and I've got zero time for my dear blog. I'm sort of on Chapter Three, though. So the end is near. I hope. Dear God, I hope. When I'm done I will over-share stories of my professor. Well, actually I probably won't. I shared my thoughts with Jeremiah and his eyes got huge and I think he judged me a little. I think this because he said, "I judge you just a little for saying that, Emily."

    That is a direct quote.

    Moving swiftly on...

    I take old mushy bananas that we've frozen. I typically don't make them with bananas right from the counter fresh. We freeze them when they get brown, I thaw them for a couple of hours and presto - ready to use.

    Anyway, the banana bread is with Nutella. I don't remember where I got the recipe but I've tried the bread several times and I can tell you this: I use about half the recommended amount of Nutella because the bread is already so sweet. In addition, I mix it (the Nutella) right into a small portion of batter. So it's diluted, sort of. And the reason for this? Then it doesn't sink right to the bottom. The first recipe I tried didn't mix some batter with the Nutella and I ended up with some (a lot) of the chocolate on the bottom.

    Here's what it looks like before Jeremiah devours it.

    You should know that the chocolate takes it from snack to dessert. It is very sweet and very rich. I don't eat it.

    But up next, we have banana oatmeal peanut butter muffins. That use unsweetened applesauce and a lot less sugar. I found the recipe and pinned it on pinterest.
    Don't look too closely at the picture or else things (namely, the banana) start to look inappropriate. Or like poop. Some might consider poop to be inappropriate anyway.
     These muffins have substance, people. One of these suckers keeps me full until lunch. Lots of fiber going on here. In addition, their heavy weight makes them good to use as a weapon if needed. I was going to write something witty and not very nice about my professor here but was worried that if something happened, I'd get blamed.
    The peanut butter in the muffins really helps dial down the sweetness of the banana, and I much prefer these to the bread. They don't last long, so I keep mine in the fridge. Otherwise - mold. Nothing molds here in AZ but these muffins do. So keep them in the fridge. Or eat them quickly.

    So again, I ask - Anyone try a good recipe lately?



    My favorite group- The White Stripes. What a great video.

    Gives me chills. Enjoy.