Happy Halloween!

I wanted to provide you with a post that detailed all the wonderfully spooky things that I did for Halloween.

Except I didn't do anything.

Halloween was sneaky this year. I'm also in crunch-mode with the thesis. I thought opting for the project meant that I wouldn't have to write a paper. Nope, it means I have to do BOTH. Should have researched that a bit more.

I'm plugging along and doing okay. Slow and steady.

Here's all I have to offer you:
That's pretty gross, right? I snapped this picture quite awhile ago while out for a walk. Not too intimidating for me, because I see them on a regular basis at work.

What is everyone else doing for Halloween?


Public Speaking Lesson #1

Try not to be an ass by starting your speech with an insult to 3/4 of your audience. Calling (or insinuating that) your audience is dumb is not okay.

My Thursday gift to you. You're welcome.

Edited to add: I was not the one speaking in this particular situation. I try to only make 1/2 of my audience feel like idiots. That way I can still reach 50% of them. Half isn't too bad. 


Bucket List, Revisited

Ah, yes. Things I want to do. But haven't. You might have checked out my List Page, but if not, here's the condensed version:
  1. Travel to/through all fifty states
  2. Go with Jeremiah to France
  3. Italy
  4. Scotland
  5. Ireland
  6. Disney. I don't care which one.
  7. I want to buy my first car all by myself. 
  8. I want to write & be read.
  9. Snorkel. Again.
  10. Take an impulsive vacation.
  11. Finish this degree. Oy.
  12. Dancing Lessons
  13. Spend a day only eating desserts. Lots of desserts.
  14. Fly a kite
  15. Act as a tour guide. Maybe in Chicago?

This is my entry in the Just Ask Bucket List Getaway Giveaway. Just Ask offers a breast and ovarian cancer screening and is encouraging people to share 15 things that I want to enjoy in my lifetime as a reminder to be aware of my health. Want to enter? Head over to TodaysMama.com to get the details.

Anyone else have a Bucket List? What's one thing that you put on it?



We had a brief break from the outrageous temperatures. For a few days, I wore pants. We also latched the security door (My house isn't in the ghetto, this is common. Most houses here have metal security doors.), propped open the front door, slid open the slider (and used the screen door) and let the air flow directly through the house, as it is has been closed all summer and then some. It felt good.

Besties Maddie and Spike went on patrol for us. Spike was on people patrol and Maddie was on pigeon patrol. Such good pets.

 Except when they're not. Good pets, that is. Maddie decided to take her patrolling seriously and went up the metal door in hopes of somehow reaching the pigeon. Before admonishing her and removing her little claws from my pricey door, I took pictures. Notice that Spike has ditched her, not wanting to take the fall for her.

Atticus, of course, is willing to point out the naughty cat. Such a tattle tale. If he could speak, I'm guessing he'd be saying something like this "Choo are going to geet een so much trouble!"



This is what evil looks like while it sleeps. Precious evil, but evil nonetheless. I'm pretty sure she's plotting her next drawstring attack. Guard your privates, everyone. And your thighs. And for the love of god, tuck in your drawstrings.


Big Brother or The Price of Nuts

For those who were unaware, my brother became my first official house guest! Am I surprised? Yes. Never in a million years would have guessed it. But we had fun watching Teen Wolf and eating frozen yogurt. He stayed for a week and it flew by.
Spike thought he was in heaven. First of all, he was raised by a man and his son, so he automatically flocks to guys. He got to ignore me even more than usual, so he was psyched. Adam threw the ball for him all day, which he loved. They're besties.
After we picked up my brother from the airport, we sat around talking for awhile. After, I asked Jeremiah what he thought of my brother. He laughed.
Conversation 1:
J: He's nice.
J:But nothing. He's nice. I like him.
J:Well, it's not easy following a conversation with the two of you.
E:Baffled What do you mean?
J:You're kind of all over the place.
E:Indignant exhale at this point, but I'm not sure how it would look spelled out here. What are you talking about?
J:Okay. So what did you two discuss while we were downstairs?
E: Hawaii.
E: Which parent we look like.
E: Farts.
E: Hats
J: And?
E: The animals.
E: The price of nuts.
J:I rest my case.
E: sighs with defeat

So apparently we are a little off-task, but I thought we communicated beautifully. Adam and Jeremiah got along and discussed beer, among other things, as conversation tends to swerve all over. I have a much better idea that my conversational skills might be inherited. Along with my Polish nose.

Conversation 2:
Adam: patiently explaining to Jeremiah You see, we've got the Polish nose.
E: Nods sadly, lowers head
A: You can see right up it without me tipping back my head. Points to nose to demonstrate.
E:Well, Jeremiah has a Polish nose, too.
A & E: Brother & sister examine said nose for Polish qualities. Jeremiah gets uncomfortable.
A: Yeah, but his is different. 
E: Yeah, it's big. Like, long. Not a wide pig nose like we have.
A:That's right. His is big, but you can't see up it unless he tips his head back.  

I should mention that I'm not at all uncomfortable or disliking my nose at all. We're quite comfortable with our features. Well, I don't love my thighs but other than that, I'm good. Bodies just make for good conversation, am I right?

I should also mention (in case my brother is coming to stay with you) that he is a great house guest. He didn't make a mess and even offered to help in the kitchen. One time he did stick his butt near me while I was reading, fart, and run away, but I'm guessing he wouldn't do that to anyone else...

And he brought nuts to snack on, which is great because the price of nuts here is OUTRAGEOUS.

p.s. Anyone else hosting any guests? What do you do to make them comfortable? I warned Adam of dry itchy skin and headaches due to being in the desert. I told him to drink water. My gift to him.



Don't move or you'll scare it.

It's the ever-elusive kitchen shot. Complete with refinished cabinets, new hardware & sink, new paint, back splash, and a curtain. All done by us. Every.Last.Drop.of.It.

We're just a *bit* proud.

Anyone else working on something around the house? We still have some things we're finishing in the kitchen - the light over the island and some beadboard, so you'll see those pictures when we finish...which will be who knows when.



I'm pleased to introduce to you the newest (and apparently the last) member of our family.

 Meet Mademoiselle:

 Holy crap. She's beautiful, right?!
 It's NOT my fault. The Arizona Humane Society was having a kitty crisis and they were actually forced to start giving them away. I'd wanted two this time around anyway, and was planning on getting a second one after I got Mel.
 I got a kitty because I figured that way Mel might feel like she was still the Queen Bee.
So that's Maddie. She's a stinker, for sure. Spike thinks that kitty belongs to him (as in his baby, not as in his beeotch). Mel is finally adjusting and putting Maddie in her place. And Atticus...Atticus is confused, because he thought he was the baby.

p.s. Did I ever show you these chairs? I got a set of them at Goodwill for a super great price. I am not keeping the reversible cushions. I've already got new ones. The chairs are probably going to get a paint job. I can see Frank shaking his head now...

p.p.s. We had this conversation as I paid for Maddie (I gave a nice donation in lieu of buying her.):
J: So this is it. Last one.
E:Yep. I'm done.
E:Promise....but what if -
J: No.
E:But -
E:I mean, just -
E:Ugh. All right.


Things NOT to Eat During Parent Teacher Conference Day

Today I'm here for twelve hours.


And I almost burned down the house this morning. I won't know for sure that we're in the clear until I get a call from Jeremiah saying that it's still standing. So anyway, after I gingerly set my (dead to me) hair dryer (Fire Starter, I named it.) on the front yard rocks, thinking that if the sparks kept flying a fire outside the house would be better than inside the house, I had to grab/make lunch. With damp hair.

So I grabbed last night's leftover taco meat (lean turkey) from the fridge and some mini-flour tortillas.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Spicy food while wearing restrictive undies (so I can look pretty)?

No. Not good.

I hope everyone else is having a less gassy day. Because really? Not good.

Who wants to share the whoopsy-est thing they've done this week? Probably no one but me. But, HELLO. If I can/will over-share, then you all can, too.


Emily? Emily? Anyone? Anyone?

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Sometimes people just need a break from each other.

It's not your fault. Well maybe just a little. 

Things here have been busy. I even had a HOUSE GUEST for A WHOLE WEEK. Seriously. My first guest. I mean, everyone comes to visit Jeremiah and that's okay, I'm not bitter at all that no one comes to visit me. But this was MY guest.

I've learned a lot about myself in this time that we've had apart.

I'll share. Or not. We'll see.