FtVF - Not Funny, Jeremiah.

Several years ago, before I started this here blog, we were moving into our new house. At one point, either I borrowed Jeremiah's camera to take some pictures, or he borrowed mine. Regardless, I loaded pictures from a camera to my computer.

And I saw this:

I thought it would be cool to have a ghost for a boyfriend. It isn't. He can't lift any of the heavy stuff. 

This picture scared the poo out of me. Not literally. But I really hate it when people are all, "I literally fell apart." No, you didn't.

Anyway. I digress. The picture freaked me out and I was all, "Ohmygod, I see dead people!" I got goosebumps and I was sure that that was the reason why I was so uncomfortable in the house those first few nights - because my boyfriend was haunting me from beyond the grave. And just when I was starting to get used to having a ghost for a boyfriend, Jeremiah came up behind me. "Oh, you found my pictures? I was trying something (insert Charlie Brown's teacher's voice here) with the camera! Cool, huh?"

No, Jeremiah. Not cool. Because then I had to call everyone back and tell them that I had a regular boring old LIVING boyfriend. So lame.

P.S. The house is actually and truly haunted. I still get uncomfortable. I still feel weird drafts in undraftable (made that up) places in certain rooms. The dogs still bark at the walls. Spike will jump at the same place on the wall in the closet, day after day. Occasionally in the mornings all four animals will stare intently into the dark hallway, which scares the poo out of me.

Figuratively speaking.


Happy Friday, Friends!

Confused. Lost. Haunted.

First, last night we finished the series "Lost". Which devastates me. It's the same when I finish "Gilmore Girls", "Friends", or finish a book series. I get all depressed as if a friend has died. Plus, I'm all into the mystery and now...

So.Sad.All.Day.

And remember how my house is el hauntito? Well, feeling was back again last night (only upstairs, weird) and then this morning I woke up because I heard a cabinet close in our bathroom. Upon opening my eyes I discovered that it was daylight, which was super weird because daylight does not exist at 4:45 am (not this season, but in the summer, yes, it is light that early). So our alarms? Did not go off. Now, they are our phone alarms, so it wasn't an electrical issue. Both were fully charged, too. We don't have the same phone or even the same service. So it wasn't that. Jeremiah was so cute. He was all, "I wonder why the alarms didn't go off?" and I was all, "because the ghost is pissed that you don't believe in it." Which makes sense, 'cause I'm pissed that he doesn't believe in it.

Then, at work, we have new parking rules. We have increased parent parking - signs and everything. We are NOT to park in parent parking. As teachers, we don't get any designated parking.

Do you know what they told those of us that spoke up?

Wait for it, wait for it...

Get here earlier.

Have a good day, people. Please don't let my depression and angst be contagious.

Mirror, Mirror

We found a mirror! It was a steal at 50% off the regular price.



I just wanted to show you the new and improved mantel. There are still some changes to be made, but for now...we likey.

UpsieDatesies:
The house is still haunted. Yesterday while I worked out, Spike walked to the closet door, sniffed, and then backed away. Afterward, he walked into the master bedroom, got just past the doorway, and cowered until he was laying down. Last night, I saw weird shadows in the bedroom. I had Jeremiah turn on the lights. We sat for a minute, heard a super weird screechy noise, and Spike went ballistic, barking at NOTHING. Later that night, it got hot (which woke us both up) and I immediately sensed that everything was okay. No spooky feeling. It was gone. Whatever it was.
Just wanted to let you know that our house? STILL TOTALLY HAUNTED.

So Freakin' Haunted.

In the middle of the night, I heard a weird noise that managed to wake me from a not-so-super-deep sleep. I nudged Jeremiah repeatedly until he woke up and when he did, I made him listen.

It was the strangest noise. It was constant, not a drip or beep or whatever.

He got up, looked around upstairs, went to the stairs, listened.

Are you ready?

The buzzer.

On the stove (yes, our stove has a buzzer. ha ha. our stove is old, I know.).

Middle of the night.

And I know people are probably thinking, anything could have set it off. Maybe we bumped or reset it before we went to bed. But the timer can only go 60 minutes at a time (ha ha again. old stove). There is no way either of us did it.

Jeremiah comes back to bed all, "huh. That was weird. Wonder what happened?"

And I was all, "Ghosts, the freaking things are haunting the house. I TOLD you this before."

Freakin' ghosts haunting my house.

My Boyfriend's Back!

He's gonna save my reputation. If needed.

Everybody ready?

List of things I can admit to now that my Polish-American (we've decided to show some pride in our heritage. This is a long story that probably requires its own post.) boyfriend is home:

1. I'm pretty freakin' sure the house is haunted. Any time you wake up and find a balloon directly facing you when you open the bedroom door in the morning (especially when said balloon was downstairs when you went to bed and there weren't any fans, AC, etc. running at night and you are the only one home) - ghost. For sure.

2. I wasn't at all afraid of intruders. I was afraid of the weird lights that I would see in the bedroom - not from the street, our windows face the backyard and were closed, closed, closed. Plus the noises and the fact that the dogs would sit at night in the bedroom and stare down the hall intently.

3. Just in case the spirits were evil (either that or they have a fantastic sense of humor), I used my dog (shame on you, girl) as a sacrificial lamb. I slept with Spike strategically placed between the door and me. That way I could offer him up to the evil spirits if I needed to do so. "Here! Take my dog instead!" By the way, they totally would send him back from the world of the undead or underworld or whatever. He's that bad.

4. I cooked up ground turkey with the paper still attached. To be fair, I removed one of the pieces of paper - the absorb-y one that collects the blood. I didn't see the other one. Whatever. It still tasted fine.

5. I had a snarky interaction with the lady next door that may or may not be appropriate for the blog but was definitely funny so I'm debating on whether I should post it. The interaction included a mental "Oh, no you didn't just say that" on my part. Actually, the funny parts of it might have ALL happened in my head. Interesting. And those parts might be funny only to me. But in all honesty, my hooch of a neighbor entertains me, so I'm sending her happy thoughts today. Wankette.

This post was brought to you today by the letter R. Random, Random, Random.