Let's Start with the Basics - Parking.

Ready, Friends?

It is that time of the week. The time when you take a break from all that work you are doing for your weekly driving lesson.

We are going to start with an easy one.

Or more accurately, what should be an easy one.


Do you know what chaps my ass?


No, this is not a picture from England. This is my street. I LOVE that both red cars on either side of the road are parked facing the wrong direction. It is a shitload of awesome around my house, let me tell you.

 Rule Number One: When you park, you have to park (by law) in the direction that the traffic flows. Passenger side against the curb.  IT JUST MAKES SENSE. That way, when you go to drive away from your parking spot, you are NOT driving on the WRONG side of the road.

In addition, your craptastic parking job won't freak out regular, less imaginative drivers who are driving down the correct side of the road.

You would think especially near intersections, like in the photo above, you would stick to the rules. Apparently NOT SO MUCH.

Exhibit B:

Notice the black truck and the white car. Same intersection, different day. I was all, "I have had it, Jeremiah. I am calling the non-emergency line because there are too many idiots living near us." Jeremiah's response: "Um, considering it is the police officer's SON, I don't think they will really care." And then I said a profanity that is not fit for your gentle ears. 

To be fair, I was a country girl growing up and did not have to do street parking. My senior year of college I had to park on the street for like, two minutes, and my friend Derek went ape-shit and informed me that I was on the wrong side and I should move my car immediately. Friends don't let friends park on the wrong side of the road. 

But apparently the police do.

And I am SORRY, but if you have lived in the city or cramped suburbs, you have NO excuse. You should know the rules.

And then let us examine Exhibit 3: Parking Lot

I took these pictures of Old Red IN ONE DAY. Old Red is in the center. In general, this is how bad the parking is in Arizona. People are not only incapable of parking correctly on the street, but it is also a challenge to pull forward into a spot. And forget backing up and straightening the cars out a bit. That would be an inconvenience.

I got a new car (more on this later) and I have already been scraped up in the school parking lot. In addition, Jeremiah says that my new vehicle is a magnet for crappy drivers. We go into a store? No one parked around me. We come out? Idiots parked in the same parking spot as me. Not next to me, but squished right in there with me.


So I guess what I am saying is this: Be aware of parking rules in your area. People do NOT love it when you park on the wrong side of the road. You are NOT too special to follow the rules like everyone else. Suck it up and turn your freaking car around. And if you park crookedly, back the freak up and try it again.

Believe it or not, people notice your parking. And if they are like me and you park like this, they laugh at you and curse the day you were born.

And then they post the pictures online.

P.S. Okay, let's hear it. You KNOW there is something that irks you about other drivers. Spill. 


Lacie Josephine said...

I got a ticket once when I was in college for "cross parking" & I've never done it since.

Stephanie said...

This cracked me up tonight!

Emily said...

Yeah, I think my friend Derek probably saved me a ticket. And I have never done it since. Apparently the police are much more lax about it now.

Emily said...

Steph, glad you enjoyed it!