You're Killing Me, Smalls.

I'm shopping for a new car. I didn't tell you.

Or did I? I don't really know. 

If I didn't, I'm sorry. Plan on some super stories about some true idiots. I'm sure that there are some fantastic, smart, and honest car salesmen.

I haven't met them. I'm thinking I could put Atticus in his business suit:

Choo know the ladies love me.
And you might get a more intelligent, honest, and kind (if you like licks) salesman. He might get in some trouble for sexual harassment, but honestly? Not his fault.

Anyway, I just this very today got this email from Nissan:


Don't miss the biggest sales event of the year! Prime financing available for less than perfect credit!

  • No payment for 90 days!
  • 0.0%APR available!
  • 3.9%APR for less than perfect credit!
  • Arizona's largest selection of new Nissan's!
  • Easy no haggle best pricing in place!
  • Sale absolutley ends 05/31/11!
  • Additonal rebates on most models!

Call Now 

Hey, Idiots. I think I already missed the sale. Seeing as how it is NOVEMBER. Also? Learn how to spell.

And earlier in the month I got this one, again from Nissan. Y'all are DUMB, Nissan. 
Caleb from ***** Nissan, Just want to fallow up and see if you would like to come back in and drive the rogue again and let us make you an offer you can reffuse. My managment team is extreamly motivated to get rid of some of our rogues especially sence are 2012 are coming in by the truck load. so if your still intrested in the rogue now is the time to get the deal of a lifetime. hope to hear from you soon have a great day.

I sent an email back to Caleb and I was like, "Hahahahahahahaha! Try spell check, "sence" you can't spell. It's awesome and FREE!"

And this? This is from the big kahuna himself. Don't you think someone checks this garbage before they send it out? I sent him an email saying that I'd spell check things for him for a small fee, that way he wouldn't send out mass-emails with mistakes in it. I didn't get a reply.
I would like to invite you back to personally sit down with you and show you not only to see how easy it is to do business here but, to also show you how we can save you some money.

They also have signs that say "Hundreds of Nissan Versa's on Sale Today!" that they put up on a regular basis. I die a little every.single.time I drive by it.

I'm losing faith in humanity. I know I makes mistackes sometymes, butt R U kiddding me hear? Freaking run it by someone with some skills. Jeremiah told them they should hire me. I'd gladly whoop their asses into shape.

Anyone else irked by something that you see all the time? Or do the wrong groups of people seem to be multiplying?


jrosmolinski said...

Too many errors to choose from! My favorite is "extreamly."
I know I make a lot of errors, but I use spell check if I have to.

Lacie Josephine said...


Good luck on your car hunt!

Emily said...

Lacie - Thanks. I don't see it happening anytime super soon...I tend to get attached to things, such as my fifteen year old car. :( But I at least have it narrowed down and know what I want.

HP - Spell check in this instance = your girlfriend Emily.

Cait @ Hernando House said...

Oh my.

Good luck on your car search!

Emily said...

Thanks, Cait!