Put the Lime in the Coconut

I went to the old doctor about the ant bite. I said, "Doctor! Ain't there nothing I can take?" Just kidding. But I did ask her what was up with my weird relationship to ants. She didn't even believe it was an ant bite. She asked me condescendingly, "How do you know it was actually an ant?" I told her I saw the stinkin' thing bite me. Then she had to open the bite (I'll spare the details, but it hurt. A lot. I sang la la la la la while she did it.), squeeze out the infectious stuff, put stuff on it, and give me those directions (elevate, soak, ice, antibiotic, cover, pill, repeat). Then she said the worst thing ever. I'm not allowed to do yard stuff. Never ever. She said that if this is what happens when an ant bites me, it could be super sucky if I meet up with spiders, snakes, or scorpions. Apparently those things live in the desert. Who knew?

What she doesn't understand is that I am the girl that planted well over a hundred bulbs at my parents house. I like to walk through the woods. I like to collect leaves and other outdoorsy tree-hugging stuff like that. She told me (sob) I could have, like, a rose bush. Everything else needs to be done by Jer-Bear. Now, I would have lied anyway when I got home and told him that I wasn't allowed to do the weed pulling or icky stuff like that. But, seriously? I get a rose bush and that's it? So we went shopping with that baloney in mind and I got this gorgeous planter:

So pretty, right? I thought it looked like wood or pottery or something. It's not. It's recycled plastic! Love. it. I also got a bunch of itty bitty succulents, thinking that if that beast of a doctor wasn't going to let me toil away in the yard I needed something. I planted them all in my new planter and grabbed some river rocks from the front yard. Our front yard. I didn't steal them. Take a look at the finished product:
Cutie patootie garden, right? I love it. I set it on our table we got on clearance ($17 down from $100) out on the patio. Now I get happy every single time I go outside. I sit and look at it while Jer does the mowing. And weed wacking. And weed pulling. Insert evil laugh...here.