Kohler Me Happy.

Please look at my sink/faucet. Our sink/faucet.
Stop. Laughing. Now. I hate that faucet! Nothing fits in there to be filled or washed because it is so low. Plus, the filter is on the side and I constantly bang it into things when I'm washing dishes (that don't fit) or filling something. Stupid. Ugly. Faucet.

Stay with me. This gets good, I promise.

We go to Lowe's. As I walk with boyfriend into the paint department, I hear a familiar voice speaking to us, welcoming us. It was my dear friend, paint department Dario. I hadn't seen paint department Dario since the fateful day months ago when I asked for a paint swatch book. He informed me that those were NOT for customers. That made me sad, because I'm special and I buy all my paint from paint department Dario at Lowe's. I hid my sadness (because Dario need not see me that way) and told him I would be back for my paint. When I came back, it was super busy and Dario motioned for me to pick up my paint at a different section of the counter. Intrigued, I went over to him where he gave me TWO, not one, TWO paint swatch books! Holy shiznit!

So anyway, I haven't seen him in months. I think I even clapped (I am not eight but I do teach eight year olds) my hands together. I told him about all the horrible other paint people and how happy I was that he was back.

Jeremiah thinks I scared him, but I don't think so. I think most people like to know that their work is appreciated and that they are missed. Plus, I have OCD and that part of me doesn't care if Dario is scared. I need my structure, yo.

So after that joyful reunion of painter and paint maker, boyfriend and I headed towards the baseboard section of the store.

We passed a beautiful faucet on a cart at the end of an aisle. Intrigued AGAIN, I stopped. Check the price:
Usually that yellow sticker means that it is clearance, except both of these prices are the same. So I called to the man at the work desk nearby. No answer. I went over and stood next to him. Didn't look at me. Jeremiah motioned with his eyes to the button that said, "Need Help?" right next to the guy. I pressed the button. The guy looks up. I ask my clearance faucet question. He doesn't know the answer. Suggests that I carry it around until I am done shopping and then ask when I get up front. This isn't his section and he doesn't have a phone to call anyone. Except, you know, the one right next to him on the desk. This man obviously does not know that I am special. He doesn't know that I have an in at Lowe's. I inform him that I shouldn't have to walk around the store with a faucet. It is his job to help me. He heaves a heavy sigh and says that he guesses he can do it. I flip out and wave my arms and basically say screw it, never mind.

I get done with my shopping and go up front. Old guy knows he screwed up and by the time I get to the manager, he has already told him. Manager tells me that he can give me a deal on the faucet. Remember how it was $228? Usually on sale would be about ten or twenty percent off. I got it half off. I paid about $114 for the faucet. Holy. Shiznit. Again.
In addition, I had to get a new filtration system because our last one BROKE and we couldn't use it anyway with our new fancy pull down spray faucet so I got the under the sink kind. This beast lasts six months. Wow. Plus, it gets rid of parasitic cysts. Which means anytime you want a drink of water at my house you can, and you won't get the shits from it. How exciting!

Then Jeremiah had to put it together. He posed for me by pulling down his pants a bit. Yes, he has swamp ass. It is triple digit temps here, people. And why is it when a man gets a wrench in his hands his pants seem to slip off his butt? I don't get it. But I don't care too much because I got this stuff yesterday and boyfriend installed it today which is great turn-around time.
And here is the crap that came out from under the old faucet. Is it glue? I think it might be glue with tartar build-up. The water here is atrocious.
Here's the boy with the old ugly builder's special. UGLY.
And here is my new FAUCET. It has FEATURES. You can pause the spray while using the hose and it sprays or just does regular water. Plus I have a pretty soap squirter. No more ugly filter, either! YAY!
Here's the link and price at the Kohler website:
Emily's Brand Spankin' Fantastic New Super Expensive Wonderfully Arching Faucet

And this is the story of how Emily had a great time at Lowe's and how sometimes being a brat helps out.

P.S. I also told the manager about how awesome Dario is. I am a firm believer of rewarding those with wonderful customer service skills.

P.P.S. The picture of Jeremiah holding our ugly faucet shows the base of the cabinets primed only. They have since received their first coast of paint. Many of the doors/drawers are finished and ready to be reattached. We just need to paint the hinges and pick out some handles/knobs. In addition, there were other crafty type projects happening this weekend, so stay tuned!

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